I got the strength to give it back to people who were happy seeing me in pain

IWill user

 

Oh, you guys again had a fight... so sorry!

The fight happened because of misunderstandings. And misunderstandings are created by people... I know you don’t feel sorry... but that’s ok... I don’t expect anything better from you either... either way it’s my issue and we will sort it out! 

 

So you’ll be alone again? 

Why would I be alone? I am going with my friends! I am not here to sit and cry! Anyways it’s hardly any company when everyone is here too.. so at least I’ll have fun with people with who I can relate well with. Thanks for asking! 

 

Did you see how much she earns? So good! And she works at home and is such a good caring person, she cooks! Lucky are people around her 

And yet she is so sad... what is all this earning and pleasing everyone when it comes at the expense of self! So sad ... I believe in happiness for self too! Feel bad for her, wonder why people around her overwork her. They could help her too. Guess they are selfish! Isn’t it? 

He won’t come with you. We have some work from him. 

I’ll have a word with him. And guess he can talk... he can let me know what his plans are. Don’t bother too much on this. Thanks 

 

Oh you are going to wear this? 

Yes and it looks nice! I think I have the right to chose my dresses and be how I want to be, as long as I know I am right, I’ll manage! Thanks 

This was me giving back to people who had caused me immense pain, isolation, loneliness, comparisons, and frustration in all these years... 

Earlier too they would dominate my life, attack me, ensure that I always felt miserable... compare me to this one or that one, tell me my choices weren’t correct, try and dominate what I do, how I feel, how I spend my time, whether my loved one can spend time with me or not!

And I cried and let them bully me! I was scared... I was too weak... I was too shocked.. everyone attacked me and I thought I was wrong... I was supposed to change. And compromise... but that broke me! I went into depression, felt empty, and totally lost!

I joined IWill therapy because of my depression..here I healed myself... I started feeling stronger... I started learning the skills of asserting, of boundaries, of how no one’s perception defines me, how things wouldn’t go as bad, as fear was making me feel!

She helped me manage my mental health first. Second, she helped me assert. If respectfully, I could protect myself, that wasn’t wrong... especially when someone was attacking me..!

Therapy helped me stand up for myself, love myself, fight for myself, do things that make me happy, just because someone doesn’t fulfill my expectations doesn’t mean I have to be unhappy, lost! 

I don’t take the pain anymore sitting down, I give it back to people who hurt me.. without disrespect of course