IWill 2022-05-02 12:46 - 4 minute read

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I had so much fear of being left by people, and I would keep tolerating abuse. Not anymore

Meera Garv

Tolerating ABUSE to keep people in life 

I wanted people to stay with me, no matter what!
Whether I am abused in the process, whether they take me for granted.
I was always afraid of losing people in my life. I worried about how will I survive, I worried if one leaves, everyone else will too!

I would continue taking abuse, I would think it would stop eventually but it didn’t... it just kept increasing...

I was so weak that I would stop functioning when others who I depended on were not around...
People could spot this weakness of mine and they would take advantage of it...

I was literally wanting to break free. But people would leave me at my lowest and then I would tolerate other people’s abuse just to keep it going!

I was so depleted that I couldn’t stand up for myself... Not do things that would give me a space in my Career or bring happiness!

I was tired. I was tired of the emotional abuse that I allowed to go on.
I didn’t want “how others will think about me” as the reason to make my decisions.

I wanted a way out and I was gasping for it!

Deciding to WORK On Myself

I decided to speak to a therapist at IWill and work out the roots of this problem that made me feel so weak from within, why did I need people, even those who were toxic, who was I trying to impress

In therapy, at IWill my therapist helped me to see that with this mindset, I had only lost.

What random people think about me and what toxic people who left me say about me when someone leaves me further, only keeps their toxicity going... to cut it through I had to get comfortable in my skin.

I had to be ok with people saying things about me!
I had to be ok with others invalidating me
I had to come to terms with that no one can invalidate me, that people talking about me are inconsequential.
She made me learn to stand up for myself, claim my space, and do things that allow for emotional healing to come through...

She helped me say no to abuse. She helped me assert and be ok in people leaving.... and not feel like I had lost something big with a person who abused me, go leaving...

I had to become ok with myself
**I had to work on my self-esteem not as a measure of how many people stay with me but as a measure of how much I stay for myself!

Therapy helped me get comfortable with people leaving, me talking though, of me not letting people walk all over me, of me not apologizing but ruining my life, and letting people run over me for some mistakes that happened to me unintentionally.

Many people have left me since... but everyone took away the toxicity, the hurt, the drama with them.

I know people talk behind my back... but these people still think of me, still are obsessed with me, and I don’t have to be doing that same thing... I need to get comfortable with not letting their presence, their toxicity, their words, their insult bother me!

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