IWill 2022-07-27 01:24 - 6 minute read

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I have lived life in pieces. When one thing became better, other piece would fall apart. Here is how I finally overcame

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I have had so many issues since I became a grown up. So many that I had faithlessness, panic and complete exhaustion with how my life was moving.

If I can use one line to describe my life:

"I have lived my life in pieces. When I struggle a lot to make one problem better and once it gets better after a lot of issues, something else happens in another piece breaking me down and my ability to feel good, pursue normal life and grow"


So when I fell in love as a young person, my partner was so inconsiderate towards me, so hurtful and always showing me how only I needed them, they didn't need me! I would be given love and yhen ignored, they would always be busy and make me feel isolated and make me feel like for them,

I came much later after family, a feeling that would make me upset from within, quiet outside and broken.


It took years of my trying, crying, going out of the way to show my love to finally help my partner see my worth, by this time i had missed progress in my career, missed my social life completely. 

And when marriage became somewhat normal, everyone else had moved on in their careers, my time for good education, job had passed, my friends were all ahead... that emptiness broke me. I was back to square one emotionally. And then i tried to run behind my career and it was so hard, I kept trying to succeed little.

As I got somewhat better in this, I started having health issues in me and my family, it just broke my spirit, it took me good 2 years to gain any normalcy back.


And when this happened, again my career, my life had been a plateue. I didn't have a career still that I was proud of, I didn't have a child, I had regrets and when I looked at people around, everyone had a baby, a decent career, people had done better for themselves. 


I felt empty, unlucky, unable to progress, completely stuck.

I joined IWill therapy on recommendation of one of my friends.


At IWill my therapist helped me see a pattern and improve upon it that was behind my life today.

When my first relationship issue happened, I completely stopped focusing on any other area, I panicked that i will be left, that I need to address this now, that I need to somehow only have this in life sorted. I ignored my health, my wellbeing, my career and so when things did get better on relationship, by that time my career slipped, when I got involved in career, by that time, ignorance, poor eating habits, on life, stress impacted my health and in all this, child planning got off.


She helped me see that reason for this only one problem to solve kind of pattern comes from anxiety, from panic, from imagining the worst that had made me incapable of looking away and Co managing other things too.


She helped me learn calmness.

She helped me learn acceptance of a problem and acceptance that I can coexist with it.

She helped me learn to have focus on all major aspects in same time to have a healthier life and she worked with me step by step to help me practice it.

I could also believe for the first time that yes infact my life wasn't unlucky, I was seeing as only one thing in one time and I needed to change that.

6 months into therapy, I have a life where I take care of all aspects, my health, my work, my friends, my life, my reading, my trying to become a parent. And I am sure, as I continue, i will be happy soon in all dimensions

I am already seeing the difference. 


Life was in pieces because I treated it like that, I was scared, panicked and always ignored my need to see and work for all aspects of my life.

In therapy I changed that and results, happiness, feelings of hope that stay with me now are just the blessing, elixir I needed 

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