IWill 2021-11-07 06:02 - 8 minute read

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I left my home for Aarti, my wife

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It’s been three years since I moved out from my parent’s home in Delhi.

I miss that home and its warmth. I miss my mother and her love for me, the food she made for me, the care she showered on me. I miss my father and his reading newspapers with me each morning.

I miss everything but I am not going back.  I am not a girl. But I am a married man of 32 years old.

I fell in love with a girl from a small town of UP. Her name is Aarti. She came to Delhi for her MD. She was smart, intelligent, simple, innocent girl.

She was studying with my best friend and that’s how I got to know her. She had a UP accent. She was very different but there was something about her that was so appealing...

I don’t know but I started visiting my friend’s college more often just to hear her voice, look at her face.  I was really becoming a Romeo and she was making me madly fall in love with her.

I couldn’t resist myself and I proposed to her. She said that she can never date anyone... But if I love her, she can think of marrying me and that I should talk to her parents.

I loved her directness. I wasn’t joking about this and I was serious for my love for her...I went back home and told my mom and dad that I want to marry Aarti. They were very surprised at listening to this and were wondering who is Aarti and why they don’t know of her?

When I told them about this, they just got angry and said that it is my crazy crush on some random person and that I should concentrate on my career.

I absolutely sternly said that I would never marry anyone if it’s not her.

They were really shocked. My mom stopped talking to me... I too used to come late, not eat at home.  I was sad why they don’t see that it is not an impulse. I am not a teenager. I seriously love her.  Love cannot and should not have an explanation.

Soon looking at my “stubbornness”, they said that they will talk to her parents. My happiness knew no bounds. From there on, everything went quickly and finally we were married.

My wife Aarti is an angel. She really like her profession is a care taker. On the very first day of our marriage, she took the home as her own. The way she cared for me, the little things she did for me, I was really living a life in heaven. Naturally as a man, I used to shower her with all the love. But then this I guess wasn’t something that was going down too well with my parents. I never understood why but they did not take straight to her. She made poori bhaji for all of us one day and my parent said its too oily... I tried to console Aarti but in my heart I knew, they always ate fried. It wasn’t that this was going to be the first time. But to maintain a balance at home, I ignored.

I would always see that she would try and make personal connection with them, ask them about what they need and what she could do for them but they always ignored her.

But I did everything to make up for the disrespect she was getting at the hands of my parents. She would never complain but I could see. I would give her more love and admiration each day.

But my mom particularly started getting very uncomfortable with her.. Once in a discussion, she made fun of her accent and said, Aarti, please do something about it.

You don’t mind but people would laugh at you if they see you speaking in this tone”. I got really upset. The accent that I loved, her authenticity, her rawness which was her appeal, her identity, my own mother was using it as a way to belittle her. I immediately said that Aarti’s voice and way of talking is the best in the world.


But things kept getting worse, sometimes it was about her dressing style at other times it was about what she cooked, what she did, there were always reasons to make her feel down. My mom and sister would give her clothes and then would say please wear the right sandals with it, don't wear your chappal.  

They would be embarassed because of her. All these so called high class women of my family would make fun of her. But then they were all sitting at home. Instead my wife, she was an MD, Intelligent ad was saving lives. She was modern in every way possible, much more than them all.

The mockery, the looks, the simplicity that was her appeal was being used to insult her.

She was slowly losing her confidence and I felt like a culprit. She would often cry... She stopped entering the kitchen. She would talk less always worrying that her accent will be ridiculed...

I decided enough was enough. I married her and it’s my duty to keep her happy. I went to my mom and dad that I wanted to move out since I was aware of how they disliked Aarti.

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My mother got furious and straight went to Aarti. She started telling her that she always knew that her innocence and her small town skills and being a servant like woman, were her way to get me hooked on to her and get us separated.

I was so taken aback. My mother thought so low of her.... How would I tell Aarti never told me a single thing against my mother....

She cried and asked me that she wants to go back to Banaras. I decided that no... We would move out...

I moved out and it’s been quite some time... We go there and I make sure, my parents are well supported. They never talk well of Aarti or love her... I feel really bad and sad about this.

I feel I have failed in many ways... I could not create a beautiful family where all my loved ones could have been happy....  I hope they can see through the innocence of Aarti... appreciate that she is not someone who can manipulate... I only can wish they can see her goodness. 

I wish we can live some day together, where they love Aarti as they love me...

But unless she is respected for who she is and loved for everything that makes her, I am not going back... not yet!

I have been in depression and I am in therapy at IWill. I endorse it for anyone wanting help either with couple issues or otherwise in personal life... That is why I shared my story here. 

Thanks for reading. Do let me know if you think. I did something wrong


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