I take care of my ailing inlaws and my kids and still no one sees my value as a woman !

IWill blogs

 

I get up each morning to make sure my in-laws, my kids, and my husband are well-fed, only to be made to feel like my work is most insignificant!

I ensure each appointment of my in-laws never goes missing, only to be made to feel what else I would do if I am at home not working! 

I ensure that everything at home is taken care of, only to be told that every woman does that today!

When I am working relentless hours throughout the day and my husband comes in the night, everyone appreciates how much he has done for the family and for me and my kids, while completely ignoring me and my efforts!
Praising other daughter-in laws who work or my sister in law of how loving she is, is a routine, while never saying one word of appreciation for me!

I had no time for self-care and they would use this against me to say how other women looked so beautiful. Sometimes saying someone else is beautiful in front of you and never saying the same for you is enough to make you understand what they mean!

 

 

I had lost my health,

My hair was grey now.

I was always unwell taking care of everyone.

I was ALWAYS fatigued!

 

I had lost my health in caregiving and YET I WASN'T ENOUGH!

 

One of my friends shared the link to IWill therapy with me and I decided to book a few sessions as I felt highly upset, angry, and bitter

My therapist at IWill acknowledged my hurt and appreciated why I felt the way I did.

She helped me learn to set boundaries and assert myself. If I didn't stand up for my time, If I DID NOT value myself, who would! 

She helped me learn that I was doing a lot, I was special.

She helped me reconnect with my friends, my hobbies.

She encouraged me to start a freelancing job . 

I started setting boundaries. My lack of availability started making my family realise how important my work was.

I would go to the gym, I would take care of myself. I started reverse aging... And my husband started to pay notice.

With the appreication of my friends and work, I started seeing my value....

 

A woman who works at home is irreplaceable. The amount of labor she does, sacrificing her own health should not go thankless.

I am glad I found a way to channelise my hurt, to process my pain and re start my life... But I still feel I should have been given the appreciation, the value I deserved!

 

Shantani Singh