When we got married, I would crave for someone to ask me how was I feeling
I cried a lot each day...I also had self-respect so did not like begging for love that I used to get without ever having to ask for it....'
But I did not want to be this weak anymore...Whether someone loved me or did not love me, I did not want this to affect my happiness, my sense of self, as it was affecting now...
Yes it would hurt that I was not loved as much as his sister would be, I stopped comparing myself or competing for their love...If they did not have a heart that big to love me, I too did not have to break myself.
I found my love again in my parents...I would go and meet them, call them when I craved for selfless love.
I would cook myself most lavish meals or order something I loved...
I even bought myself gifts that I wanted others to give me.
I started doing everything for myself that I thought only someone else can do, ONLY A MAN CAN DO...AND I started feeling happy too. Therapy helped change my core...Helped my thoughts from within.
I started making changes in my life for me, putting my actions and my emotions on how I treated myself, not how others treated me... .