IWill

IWill 2021-02-02 10:08 - 4 minute read

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I was just so tired in my head. I really needed help

Soumini

No one loves you. They are there with you because of the drama, the crying you do. They are stuck!
What’s the use of trying anything. Nothing will happen or change for me!
I am dumb. I am a loser. I am unlucky. My life is the worst. I have made it this way.
They all hate me! They are talking about me. They make fun of me!
If I just escape, I would be better off!
Everyone else who hurt me is doing so well. I have made a loser out of myself. My emotional pain, my issues have drawn me closer to the brink of being unsuccessful!


My mind was a tiring space. I would cry first thing in the morning.

And I would cry before sleeping. I didn’t want to wake up, nor want to sleep. Each day I had the regret of a painful day, of fights, of hurt, and the next day would still be the same...

I didn’t want to even join therapy. I never felt someone outside could have “fix” for me and my situation had any possible change...

Yet one day I was just going through too much pain, too many negative thoughts and so I just booked a session, just to try!

And then I started IWill therapy... and then I saw all this while there were three problems I was doing for myself


I was never kind to myself

In my head, I had never kindness to myself. I would show empathy to others, give them the benefit of the doubt, allow them to bully me, speak to me in any way, and yet never speak for myself!

In my head, I had accumulated all the tough situations in my life as if I chose them to happen to me, I was holding mused guilty for crimes I didn’t do! If someone treated me badly, it was them! If someone killed my time with their toxicity, it was them!

And I needed to rise, give myself one full shot for my life!

And third I needed to give myself the needed care, the right people, the right conversations, that uplift me! I didn’t deserve to Be more isolated. I deserved to be looked after!

Through therapy, I helped take control of my raging mind and through the mind, my raging life!

Within few weeks, I started building empathy for myself. It soothed me when my own mind stopped blaming me and traumatizing me for who I was!


In the next few weeks and months, I cut myself off through toxic situations and created conversations and people that uplifted me!

I went into cleaning my life! I went into cleaning all the mess...

Today I breathe in my head, I execute my plans without being stuck or frozen...
If you are in a place like me, I strongly recommend you not to let your mind tire gig anymore and make you the culprit or the victim.! Seek therapy, you have the power! Mental health should be a priority and yes this can be fixed, I Promise

 

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