IWill 2021-09-24 11:35 - 2 minute read

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I was missing my old self the most, never knew I had never lost it

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I used to laugh on small things!
I had so much happiness!
I had so much faith in life!
I knew I would be loved; I was wanted...

And then things happened
I met people who didn’t love me for who I was!
I was made to feel less. I was isolated!
I lost confidence. I lost focus or the skill to work... I pushed myself in a shell!
Life didn’t feel happy anymore..
Things went from bad to worse and I lost and only lost...

Within years, I had just became a changed person... so lost in life, so incredibly self doubting, losing, losing day after day...

I wanted my old happy self back... and there was looking like there is no way...

I was craving to find that old self that I recognised. That I loved... who was surrounded by smiles, life and love...

I joined iwill therapy... and it was here that I could peel the layer of pain, of assumptions of rigid walls of ego, of not accepting to leave toxic people, that helped me reconnect with myself..

There was still love... I was finding it in the wrong people!
I had failed in the past time... but this time wrong was that I was hating and blaming myself...
I was letting others who couldn’t see me happy, chip my personality!
I was letting the weight of negative people, situations put me down...
she helped me find myself again, find my path to happiness again and stick to it...

She helped me get back to fun again.
She helped me completely ignore the validation, look beyond the mad race!
She helped me find a place where I could be at peace with myself.

I learned to manage my emotions and my thoughts that were being triggered by new ways, of how toxic people wanted me to see my life!

I laugh again. I believe... I cry but I hold myself again... I am finding my old self again...
It wasn’t gone anywhere... it was just hiding behind my own inability to fight back and remove the layers of pain... and toxic situations

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