I will not listen to complains and comparisons towards my wife. We have suffered enough already, especially her. It's time to heal

IWill blogs

You spend money on her. You have forgotten what all we have done for you. We won't even talk to her now.

Why are you going on a birthday with her? Mom gave you birth or she? What a disappointment you are!

Are you telling her all your family matters? She will go and tell it to her parents and you will lose face. Do you have some sense?

Why does she always expect you to be around her? She wants to isolate you from anyone and forget her, you are ready to be dominated and isolated, that's the sad part for us. What did we think of you and what are you becoming.

You are always laughing and giggling with her. We have class here.not like her

This would be said to me and it did have an impact on me.

Both because I loved my family, second because I thought what if they are right and third because the more I loved my wife, the more I saw people behaving strangely with her.

So I stepped aside and started doing that what was said hoping that relationship between my family and wife will get better 

Hoping that the anger and attacks from my family will lessen and everything will fall into place 

And hoping my wife also will adjust to our ways.

How wrong was I ?

How wrong was I in thinking this ?

How wrong was I in isolating my wife.

 

From a happy always laughing person, she now just had a puffy face.

She would always be just asking me to spend time with her and rather than seeing this as her love, I felt this was her way to control.

She would be lonely while I would please everyone else. Breaking her and my couple happiness, our dream everyday .

She was in depression and was in IWill therapy. When I got to know about it, I started sessions too.

It was in these sessions that I could see how my wife was the one who came to my home, she was alone and even if she was not, loving me and me loving her was basic premise of our relationship.

I had so many birthdays in Goa with friends, why after so many years was this a thing now. Why do I expect her to be part of my life be my partner and not share? Why do i have to sacrifice this beautiful relationship. What all is discussed in therapy can't be written here because it's deep, it's reflective and also many aspects of it are personal.

 

But I learnt my mistake.

I now am at a point where I am healing my wife. And myself 

No more comparisons,. She is her own and part of me.

No more complains because she is perfect for me.

No more taunts and sarcasms because I have married her. She is my responsibility.

I love her, take her on long drives, run up and down a mall in love with her, not buying things but just laughing and being with each other and I wouldn't trade this emotion now for anyone or anything.

My wife is my love and I a part of me. I will not her feel like she can't trust her own husband 

Rishab Singh

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