I will treat MYSELF as my priority now! I will not depend on others

IWill blogs

I always expected that my loved ones will one day see the sacrifices I day each day for them. But this never happened. The expectations were always increasing and no one was ever happy from all that I did.

 I would see others around living their life and same people who expected from me, didn’t feel anything bad on the lack of availability of others for the same.

 

I was tired of losing in life, my career becoming the last priority for me. And my inability to concentrate on my goals due to all the trauma, all the responsibilities and all the burden of expectations from others I had on me.

I was tired of crying, I was tired of being treated like the last option when it came to doing something for me and the first one to be expected from.

I was tired of being judged for prioritizing me a little bit. If I did one thing for me, IF I thought of taking a day’s holiday, everyone around at home would become so visibly upset and concerned as if I had done something selfish.

I didn’t understand why people didn’t see I had needs of love, I needed care, I needed boundaries, I needed motivation to pursue my dreams!

This was true for both my home and the one I got married to. This was also true for my situation at work.

I was not successful like I had thought. I was not filled with love like I wanted to be. I was not happy like I deserved to be.

I DID SO MUCH AND STILL NEVER RECEIVED THE SAME. THIS FRUSTRATION HAD BROKEN ME. I was angry, bitter and just depressed. I would not feel like meeting anyone.  I was getting into things and habits that further were not good for my health or my life.

I joined IWill therapy sessions online to find a way to come out of this.

As sessions started and I shared my life with my therapist at IWill online, she helped me see that as a child, because of my family dynamics, I internalized that only way to get approval or to prove myself to my family was by being available to them.

She helped me see that this expectation in itself from a family dynamic is unhealthy.

As time went on, this became my pattern in all relationships, to give myself completely in such relationships, to start with putting their needs first and mine last, until that became an expectation and a habit of others.

She helped me see that others were not seeing my value because I wasn’t seeing my own. I wanted others to validate me, approve me, talk good about me and only then I would believe that I was worthy.

I had deprioritized myself so much. I had given in so much to others’ demand that they had become accustomed to seeing me as always available.

She helped me realize that I cannot expect others to priorities me or not be upset with me for my plans when I myself had never shown that my plans mattered.

I had to work on myself. I had to set boundaries. I had to become my own master. I had to be my own champion.

She helped me set my priorities, make a plan for my success and focus on my needs. She helped me set boundaries and prepare me for the negativity and pain I will receive when I do this.

She helped me also find my social support in friends and loved ones who care.

In 6 months,

I had excelled in my work, I had bought a car. I had started preparing to buy my home and most importantly I started to stand up for myself, valuing myself more than anything and anyone else because I realized no one else will play that role for me.

For booking therapy sessions with the best therapists of the country, at IWill, download the app from the button below or start iwill therapy from the top right corner.