I won’t please people who treat me secondary. Respect is bigger than society!

Sraddha Singh

People would blame me when I would feel bad or not want to talk to people who were hurting me!

Everyone would tell me how I needed to adjust! Everyone would say that I was too sensitive, or that I needed to continue pleasing others and one day they will change!

But this was not the case

I would always be treated in a cold manner!

My good points were never praised! There were so many things I did, but they were never appreciated!

My mistakes even when they were small will be amplified! I would be made to realize them, it was all done in a way that I can’t say much, but this was the pattern!

I was always made to feel like I had no rights here, I would be asked to “let others” decide/do things!

I was always “wrong” or everything I did, had a grand plan! I wanted to take people away or I wanted to have my dominance! I was portrayed as though I was the most calculated and negative person in this world! 

 

And being in good books of such people, of ignoring what they were doing to me and still being great with them, around them, and be in their vicinity so that they can torture me more, was breaking me!

Being always around them when they needed me, even though they made me incapable of even seeing myself in good light was breaking me!

To act as though I really loved people who were insecure of me, who didn’t want me to be loved, who never praised me, was draining!

I was stuck! I was enabling my abuse and I didn’t know what to do! And this was hurting me and breaking me the most!

I was so restless that I joined IWill therapy... 

it was here that someone understood my point of view without labeling me or just telling me “accept it because this is how it works”.

For the first time in a conversation, my subtle feelings mattered. My words of Pain were empathized with...  

My therapist helped me focus on myself, and helped me structure my boundaries. My therapist helped me say out loud when I was attacked and call out problematic behavior!  

The therapist helped me structure a space, an invisible boundary for my mental and emotional health! 

My loved one also joined therapy and could see how it was not ok for me to be attacked and how my boundary and staying away was not to disrespect anyone but to respect myself!

Love and respect are mutual! And I could only give it to them who considered me something and were ready to share my pain with me!

I will not be breaking myself, standing there to be disrespected, to praise others and make them feel special while they leave no opportunity to isolate me, or to make me feel “not good enough”, “NOT CLOSE ENOUGH”

I am glad I joined therapy that gave me the mental healing, the strength, the tools to do it in a way that I am not attacked and broken further! I stand with and for my respect! And I am glad