I wont keep fake relationships anymore with people who are not happy for my happiness and never there in my sad times 

IWill blogs

Some people you know who they are.

No matter how happy news you may have heard. No matter how much good you achieve, they will never congratulate you or be happy for you, they would go stone blank and worse Indirectly praise others or remind you of your struggles, setbacks and failures.

The more you try to see happiness in their eyes, appreciation in their eyes for you, the more they go blank, the more they disappoint, the more they are bitter.

And these same people when you are going through a tough time, don't empathise with you. They may say things that are needed to be said but it never moves beyond that. I have been many times in my worst and these people are never there, some are so arrogant and rude that they want me to first update them what is going on in my life first. 

These toxic relationships drained me. Calling them close, acting as though these are my near and dear ones was so tough on me. It would drain me and my concept of self.

It started affecting my mental health so much. I started feeling low about self and this group constantly made me feel like I was never going to be good. These were the people around me and I had no encouragement. I was lonely and made to feel like my pain was trivial or mattered less.

I had lost myself, my goals. I would just always feel inadequate. I would constantly be in pain, crying and just felt not even living some days.

I joined IWill therapy for healing myself.

And it was my therapist that helped me see that I was expecting empathy from people who were incapable of displaying it for me. I was judging myself basis people who had formed a filter to not see me in good light.

And I could not be harming myself anymore. She helped me see how I had been successful, how people who loved me were always happy for me... that I was capable. That I needed to focus more on my growth.

She said to me " you allow them to hurt you by giving them power over you, power they don't deserve. You don't need validation from them or from anyone".

 

She helped me focus on my career, she helped me have my boundaries, my space too and she helped me not feel sad or less because of someone's inability to be nice. I didn't have to carry the burden of their inability to express or be human.

I focus on people who love me.

I focus on people who appreciate me.

My measure is not the people who don't feel happy for me. I don't even tell them anything anymore.

If they belittle me and my pain, it hardly matters because I am no longer a part of their trivialisation.

I have boundaries. I assert. I don't bury myself under the weight of fake relationships anymore.

I don't need sympathy of people or praises who can only blame me or always find me not goof enough. My mental health is more important! And I prioritise it.