I wouldn't follow anyone's instructions on what and how much I should do for my WIFE. Enough

IWill blogs

No I want to spend time with her. I like it. She is my partner and we are companions. Let me decide and do what makes me happy.

She isn't wrong at all. She has work day and she can't come, like many others who have work. I really want we respect her individuality and if we can't, atleast please let me.

 

I don't think she is immature. She is a fun loving person. She loves to smile and laugh, and I like that about her because it's a great thing. I don't want her to become quiet and lose herself or be like others who are always angry from within.

I will love her and yes she is important to me, the way she cares for me and loves me is special. I don't want to break this bond, I won't prove my love to anyone by breaking her heart.

This was me Raman, now asserting, being the Man my wife deserved, standing up for her space in my life and as an individual.

But it took me a long time to come to this.

My wife was the target since the day 1 of our marriage and no one liked her. It took me a.lot of time to understand that there is nothing unlikable about my wife, it's actually the insecurity, the power struggle and the need to control of others that's making them uncomfortable.

Earlier I never questioned once what my family did and just kept taking it at face value. And distance between me and wife grew, 

I was just ignoring her because everyone told me that.

I would tell her not to laugh because everyone would.be so angry that she is childish and not mature.

I would not make plans with her because or else I had become a non family person.

My wife's personality had broken and even i was unhappy, uncomfortable at the kind of fear and censorship i had developed too.

 

Before it would all fall apart, we took therapy at IWill.

It was in therapy that I could see that my wife was being denied that what everyone had.

Why the censorship on laughter? What harm does that do to anyone? I actually loved her happy nature and now she was crying, did I want this for my wife?

 

Why did we get married? Why did she became my partner if I have no time for her... why is she here? Who for? If not for love

 

I am a grown up man who has started his own family, shouldn't I have the control to make my own decisions?

And why should only my wife prove herself? We have nothing to prove to her? We should do nothing to comfort her or make her feel at home?

 

Through therapy I addressed the hurt within me, I was also pained because of this fear of being watched if I love my own wife and that was unfair.

I respect everyone and their choices.

I just stand up now for my respect and choice for standing up for my wife.

I take the responsibility that she will be Happiest being my wife, Happiest being with me.