If daughter is in a toxic marriage, save your daughter, not the marriage 

IWill blogs

When a daughter is in a toxic marriage, parents often tell her to continue, save the marriage, adjust, and wait for good to happen. 

The toxicity and abuse continue and it gets worse with more ignorance, isolation, loneliness, with more sarcasm, more control over her life by others, more frustration, pain, regret, and even development of depression but still, parents ask the daughter to continue.

Rather than saving the marriage, the focus should be on saving the daughter. This should not be even a choice but still sharing some reasons 

 

A common question parents struggle with is what will happen to their daughter after them?

The question should be, really, If she stays in a toxic marriage when no one is willing to change, be certain that abuse and more toxicity will continue to happen to her and would only increase, then what would happen to her, after them?

If you help her today to come out, you can support her in her healing, help her to start afresh, her career, social life, and maybe even a family If she thinks she is ready and has someone later who is good. You would be securing her future this way, not the other way around!

 

Another question is what will people say?

Rather than asking this question, ask another more relevant question, what Will people do?

Will people come to protect your daughter, will they come to stand with her in her depression, or when she is alone in the room, crying for basics as their is financial, emotional, and mental toxicity.

Will they come to her rescue? If the answer is no, why worry or care about what they say? Your daughter's respect and happiness are certainly more than words!

Another question is whether things change and everyone finally will become better 

Hypothetically if after 20 years this gets better for your daughter, 20 years of her life are gone in crying, believing that she is not valuable to anyone, not even her parents, a place she called home is not hers. And what gets better, it's the daughter who stops expecting, who becomes ok in her life just to live, and sometimes and many times, she even thinks or does harm herself.

Is it the life you wanted the daughter to have?

Save her. STAND UP for her today. Ask questions, why is it OK to treat her so poorly, why is it OK to ignore and leave her while the whole family enjoys, why is it OK to insult her, for the person she is. Why is it OK to not give her basic respect when she is an individual

And if nothing changes, only control increases, save your daughter. Bring her home. Help her heal, start therapy for her even if she is not with you, and at least help her have a career and identity. Help save her, not the marriage of pain.

Help save her dreams, not the nightmare of waking up in a place where no one has time for her 

Help save her emotions, nor her emotional abuse, that is breaking her.

Help save her personality, not remarks or sarcasm and taunts on the person she is.

Help save her from toxicity! Stand and be with your daughter now if she is going through this.

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