IWill

IWill 2021-12-28 12:23 - 2 minute read

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If you have no emotions for me as a partner whats the point of marriage

IWill user

I was unwell. I needed you and you said you had some really urgent work to do.

When someone else you love is unwell, you can't even think straight.

When someone commented on my daily routine and made me feel like I was useless, you stood there and said nothing..

Small or big, I have to always hear things said to me, remarks like I don't do enough, remarks on my personality, how I speak, sit or talk, how I don't care enough, and you never stopped anyone...

If I was lonely and wanted your time, you had your priorities. This is when I was supposed to have only you as a priority...

 

It broke me down... It broke my heart... I lost love... I lost respect. I lost that trust that someone will stop wrong from happening to me... That someone will bother for what I feel and how I feel...

Marriage is an emotional relationship before it is anything else. It's a partnership where you trust each other to care for the other, not stand against each other, but with each other...

You kept telling me how should I be with others... Did you ever tell yourself who you should be for me?

I had cried alone, hungry, not eating and you would leave me saying it's all drama. Do you think anyone can torture themselves to do drama? 

Do you think I was this person? I never skipped a meal! I never cried in my life and now that this was happening, rather than asking me you said it was a drama... 

 

If you would have been in such pain, I wouldn't have been able to take it for a moment! 

I really was contemplating not being alive, I would cry and you wouldn't care... All you said was I needed to "Adjust"... adjust to what? to not being happy, to be insignificant, to be ok with ABUSE?

I had to be in months of therapy at IWill to gain my mental health back, to be able to stand up for myself and take the step where I choose myself, my emotions, especially when you had no space for them...

 

Marriage is of equals... Marriage is of emotions... And you only for whatever reasons broke mine...

I decided to move out of this marriage as I want to move out of abuse... 

I really deserve to be valued, to eat well, to be cared for when in pain, to be not judged for my emotions but to be loved and healed...

I am glad I have found this strength today, to move on and to LIVE TOO... To know I am complete and I have the right to be!

A. Mehta

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