IWill

IWill 2022-02-03 09:14 - 4 minute read

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If your wife treats you like an outsider for one day, You would not be able to tolerate it! 

Shubhangi Bhatnagar

I love my father the most. He has taken the best care of me. No one can, you certainly can never be like him.

It is my birthday. I will spend it with my family only. You cannot come and interfere between us. 

I will take suggestions from my dad only... Don't worry about this. I trust him a lot.

I have to go and call my father now... 

I didn't greet my husband in the morning the next day...

 

This was part of the exercise we were doing in couple therapy at IWill. A simple role-play from my eyes so that my husband could see what I felt...

My husband in that one day did look visibly hurt and irritable, this was when he knew that this was just an exercise... That I was just doing what I felt he did to me and actually more over the months.

 

When the next session happened, the therapist asked my husband how he felt about this behavior? 

My husband said, it was very irritating and I think she overdid it...

I have never treated her this lowly when in comparison to my family... She was trying to do things I NEVER DID and certainly, they were hurtful. She even canceled my plan for her birthday 

To this I said, dear husband, I actually couldn't even do 1% of what I went through...

Every morning you avoid me and talk to everyone else. You act as though you are hesitating to speak to me... I am your wife...!

Every time I want you. to share something with me, you say that I shouldn't be bothered by this... It's not my concern... Imagine, I am in that home just for you... And I am not even part of your thought?

So many times you have canceled our plans saying others will mind... And that you won't go with me... Have you imagined why I am there? I had my life changed in a matter of 1 day and you can't even give me time?

You compare me every now and then. You can't buy things for me as you don't want to show that you spend on me...! Is this what you call fair treatment?

If someone makes a remark on me, YOU have in the past asked me to adjust, you have known me, you have tolerated things done to me that you would never tolerate for anyone else...

 

In reality, I love you a lot and hence want you to know that you can't even and couldn't even tolerate one day of such ignorance, outsider feeling... You replace and compare each day with your mom... And it causes a lot of hurts. You would know now!

My husband through therapy and sessions understood that I had been really treated poorly... That I was treated less, as an outsider as though I didn't matter. 

 

He started changing a lot with therapy...He started giving me all the attention, love, and care that I needed, he stopped treating me like I was an outsider...

He now knew how much comparisons hurt and stopped doing it. How I wished this could have happened from the first day, but at least things changed for us with therapy at IWill...

 

He at least now knows I am not an outsider! I Cant be treated secondary to anyone!

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