IWill

IWill 2021-09-17 12:40 - 6 minute read

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Isolating wife doesn't make you a good son or family man

IWill blogs

Today I am so relieved having left a man who left no stone unturned to abuse me,  to hurt me just to prove he was a good son... Sorry to say but his family would manipulate him against me and then he would take it out all on me, as though I didn't mean anything to him, as though he just wanted to listen to his family, please them, prove to them... 

 

To force your wife to be a second class citizen to your family, just to please them, is terrible 

Just say sorry to my sister. Look at that she is crying... 

But I didn't say anything. She said something that other bhabhi's do this and that and I said comparing is not good. That's it!

No, but you can't make my younger sister cry... I can never see that!

 

When mummy is asking you to not wear all these clothes, you must listen!

Don't ever talk back to my mom... She is elder and she is my everything. Next time you do this, no one will be worse than me... 

In this home, my mom is everything. You and we all would have to live here according to her... 

My husband ensured that I felt secondary... That I don't stand up for myself, that my emotions, respect everything is abused day in and day out....this man who I left my world for... This only proved him partial, small-hearted, and a bad human being! 

 

2. Emotionally neglecting me to make others feel good 

Listen mom doesn't like that you and I sit so much together... I need to give time to them. I am still a son!

I can't make a birthday plan with you. Mom got so upset just getting to know about this. She gave me birth... She was shocked I won't be with her!

She needs to cook for me... I like it that way and I don't want to upset her at all...

I would be coming late to the room. You go and sleep. I need to be with my family... 

Oh, mom sit with bhaiya...

And my husband, please get down of the front seat of the car. Let mom sit... 

This and more ... He kept abusing my emotions just to please his family.. He made me lonely, isolated... He very easily made me feel like I was nothing for him just to give a sense of security to his mother! 

3. Not respecting my needs or my family...

I can't come with you. Mom doesn't want me to stay outside.. You can go!

 Why does your father tell my mom to take care of you! My moms feel so bad! Do we not know what to do.. Please tell your father to not dictate my mother! I won't tolerate my mom's tears..

Whenever his mom or anyone made comments on things about my family like a remark on what happens in our home in a sarcastic manner, some of our habits like maybe eating food late in a way to insult, he would nene stop or speak back... Even when this caused tears in my eyes and pain in my heart! 

I remained in this toxic environment thinking this was my destiny. I would cry, get hurt, fight and endlessly want hmm to change, to love me...

I was looking for him to somehow change and save me from his abuse only...

I was dying to gain his love.. Even after the emotional abuse, I was subjected to...

It was in IWill therapy that I found the real need in me, for escape and the courage to break this pattern, to leave the man who abused me, to never expect or beg anything from him and have the strength to rebuild my life..

Being abusive to your wife on manipulation, for any reason,  makes you just a terrible human being, not a good son! And it makes the family sadistic

I am glad I am out of the hell. I suddenly look beautiful, have smile, have confidence, have everything that I light I would never have. It was the ugly toxicity limiting me in his home. And I am glad I am out of it. 

Shravani Sharma 

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