IWill

IWill 2021-09-20 11:23 - 2 minute read

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It's not OK that you to attack me and then act like NOTHING happened

IWill blogs

I was getting drained. 

People who humiliated me, always taunted me or made me feel less, never left any opportunity to attack me, always isolated me, kept me away from decisions, made me feel like I am less and they are better off, these people would suddenly always in front of people, act as though they love me the most or that they need me.

Whenever they needed me for any emotional need or for any help, they would just call upon me. Suddenly when they felt the need to have me around, they would act as though nothing happened! 


 

This was their trend. This was what they did all the time. 


 

Emotions that I would get were of 

Anger

Pain

Disgust 

Helplessness

Discrimination

Frustration 

Sadness

Humiliation

 

I was struggling due to their dual faces.

I was struggling since they attacked me at will and then acted like they cared a lot for me… This would confuse me and make it difficult for me to make space from them. I would always fear I would look at the odd one and the bad one here…

 

I was tired of being with them, ONLY FOR THEM!

So that when their self-esteem felt low, they could attack me, and when they wanted to feel like the bigger person, needed to feel like they are some extraordinarily nice people, they would reach out to me as though they are great people!
 

My self-esteem was tormented. And everyone else around too also never understood me which made me retire more in my shell, and make me feel like I was the problem! 

I joined IWIll therapy because I was really feeling low about myself, I was feeling like I was only to be insulted and then just serve other’s needs to stand there in their happy moments! 

It was in therapy that the psychologist helped me see how I had a lot of self-worth!

Just because some people wanted me to see one side to elevate their status, didn’t mean it was true!

She also helped me to learn about the concept of boundaries! Relationships, interactions are not a one-way street! There are two ways… They were anyways painting a horrible image of me, they were anyways being not with me. I didn't have to please them at my EXPENSE.

 

I learned to say no, say no despite their use of manipulation, others, making me feel like I was the problem. 

None of it mattered anymore, over and above my mental peace and that's what I CHOSE! 

 

It's not ok for someone to attack your self-worth and then act like ALL IS OK!
It's not ok for anyone to take me for granted and then act as nothing happened!

 

My mental health and my respect are above everything for me!
I have not bound to one-way social pressures anymore! 

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