IWill

IWill 2021-11-08 12:16 - 4 minute read

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Its worst when people make you feel you are not worth & constantly attack you. 

IWill blogs

But what you did was not right!
Anyone can do this. What is so special in this!
No response to my good gestures!
Ignoring me completely when I need them the most!
Making me feel unwanted by not talking to me, or acting as though they didn’t listen when I say something to them!
Praising others in front of me!
No matter what I do for them, I will never be enough for them!

I was treated like this constantly and it just broke my heart. I used to feel so helpless! So powerless! So unhappy, so lacking motivation!

I felt like I didn’t deserve anything good now! That I was probably somewhere going to just be worse! And this bad behavior towards me was pushing me to the edge!
I became more and more depressed!

I just didn’t feel like getting up! I was so unhappy! I felt like crying all day! Stuck in my life, like I couldn’t do anything now. This is what I would think all day!
And I also felt bad why didn’t others treat me equally! Why did they all connect with others or each other and why was I an outcast!


Why were such experiences coming my way!

I joined iwill therapy because I was finding it tough to even breathe! The emotional pain, the hurt, the negative feelings had all engulfed me!

It was in therapy that the therapist at IWill first helped me separate others’ behavior from my reality!

I was not deserving of the behavior I received! I didn’t invite this on me! I couldn’t feel bad about myself because someone else chose to see me differently!!

She also helped me vent out all the hurt I felt emotionally!  She helped me speak out and make sense of the broken emotions and the weight of what I was carrying with me!

My therapist at iwill helped me assert, speak for myself! Focus on myself!

She helped me mentally disengage from people who could have had their reasons to not like me! She helped me reconnect with people who wanted me to be around, to be happy, who was always there to listen to me!

She helped me come to terms that trying to please them was taking me away from my happiness further and further! I had to leave it onto them to accept me and focus now on what made me happy, what did my career need to be!

I had to stop looking at these people for my happiness or for motivating me or for my encouragement! They were just not good enough for that. I had to look beyond them! 

I had to look for myself!

I have gotten the strength to accept their behavior as it is! To look out for me!

To not cry and waste my time anymore for them! 

They didn’t know my value and worth! They didn’t want to know! They had hurt me enough! 

As I started focussing on myself, within 3 months, I got unimaginable success in my career. I was looking fitter, happier and I was mentally sorted! I had many other people to support me!!

 

These people were shocked to see my rise! And I was happy that I have learnt to get past them! It is extremely hurtful to be treated like I was, many face this like me and feel stuck and keep losing! I would say please seek therapy, look beyond this pain! These people who can’t value you! Recognise that it’s them; it’s their inability to appreciate you, not your fault!

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