Living with a narcissist everyday is the worst and most isolating and painful
Narcissism is a personality disorder marked by the following issues
1. They are self-obsessed and want to control you just to serve their commands.
2. It’s not enough that they are happy, they are jealous and can’t see usually others happier so they do everything to hamper that.
3. They can’t see anyone succeeding around because it makes them inherently discomforted hence they attack a person’s self-worth and ability mercilessly.
4. They can’t see people having healthy relationships. Due to their lack of empathy and just selfishness, they isolate people and destroy relationships
5. They keep doing drama to disturb, to keep power, to manage their internal lack of self-worth and insecurity.
And I was living with one such person.
I was constantly attacked, constantly compared. If someone did something that u did too, they would be appreciated and told, no one can do things as they can. And they would say this in front of me to break me.
I was constantly isolated from my loved ones. It was always a competition. If my loved one gave me any attention, the narcissist would get so upset, visibly, and angry that they would isolate me. I don’t know why but my loved one never cared for my feelings, whether they were also abused or scared or brainwashed, I don’t know what about that... but it was really damaging... I would be there alone and yet not get the love of my loved one... this isolation, my tears, my pain made the narcissist happy and this was the saddest part!
I would be unnecessarily attacked. Anything that made them insecure, they would blame me, create drama, twist my words, make me like a villain in front of others' eyes... everyone would speak to me rudely for them!
My career too went downhill. That was due to total attacks on my caliber, my self-worth... constantly telling me I wasn’t enough, blocking my success!
I was depressed, hurt, pained, anxious, angry, insulted, humiliated, isolated, lonely all at the same time... I had never been more in pain... and I had never felt so stuck in life... my own emotions attached to my loved one, my situation, were making me take the abuse too... no change was coming...
it certainly is the worst to live with them every day as if one day will go good, they ensure to make many weeks of you lonely and self doubting!
I joined IWill therapy when I read a post on Facebook! I started therapy and the therapist at iwill could almost completely understand what was happening to me... She told me that healing and coming out of this will be step by step but I will have to do it, to be able to break this spell of depression and abuse!
She helped me with 5 things systematically
1. Draw boundaries and not be quickly emotionally blackmailed or become weak again and again
2. Develop a stable sense of self and not be so easily manipulated into believing I was the problem or not good enough.
3. Persevere, and focus on my goals and have a career, have others to look after me.
5. Bring in my loved in therapy and help them see what they were doing, how it was wrong and was uncalled for. Make them stronger to manage the drama, understand develop a deeper bond with me and see my emotional perspective!
Therapy helped me tremendously... more than anything it has made me a person who knows how to stand for self, to get back up, to not let the Narcissist use me and destroy my happiness to satisfy their ego!!