IWill 2024-06-10 02:31 - 6 minute read

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Manipulative tactics in a relationship and how they break you and destroy you

IWill Blogs

Being in a relationship with someone manipulative can break your mental health, can cause damage to your work life, preoccupy your brain and thoughts negatively, can cause loss in career, loss in sense of self, a strange sense of bending and breaking yourself to get them kind of feeling in you.

It's important to recognize if you are in a manipulative relationship. More likely you know. But the facts below will help you fact-check it to a large extent.

But more importantly, you need to learn how to break the cycle. As you are trying, but your emotions, your need to win over the situation and their love and bring them to a place where they can give you comfort is breaking you.


So let's first discuss signs 

1. They love-bomb you, give you the nicest of names and care, and then suddenly pull themselves away, stop messaging, stop talking, stop loving, only to cause a lot of deep desire to be loved by them, cause impatience and constant confusion within you.

2. They blame you for their behavior. They would fight with you, they would argue and be bitter with you and then they will blame you for their behavior and then give you attention, over-care to confuse you.

3. You communicate to them, things that you can and things that you expect them to do and they just break the expectations you had from them. They will fulfill it one day and then give gap of many days and then break it further. This will cause a lot of wait, a lot of pain, a lot of your mind being stuck there 

4. They love drama. Everything is over the top. Their love expression, their anger and it's done for a reason, to manipulate you and make your brain numb and stuck to them 

5. Relationship is on their beck and call. They will be available they will love express they will ignore . They will prioritise. They will not care what really matters to you, causing a lot of wait in you, resentment and feelings of being stuck

6. They hurt you on purpose and then before it gets too bad, They bring you back. Continuing the abuse and toxic cycle

7. Their drama ensures that you don't things that irk them and they continue harming and hurting you.

It is painful and we know that you need to get your head space clean. You need to focus back on your work, face less heart burn [more mental] than being stuck at them, relax your nerves and ease out.


Here are some most effective suggestions

1. We know you recognise the signs largely already but still mental awareness is key. Right down things they do to manipulate you and ask yourself is this fair? Is this normal? What has changed within you because of it? Is it worth the damage? Is the loss and lack of focus and brain fog real and if yes, is it what you really need right now. Ask these questions constantly and be forced to reply to you everytime.

2. Focus on your work. In time they are breaking you, have a task for yourself, do things that you had to do, make a plan. No matter how hard, give yourself the time! Give yourself the effort! 

3. Take attention and love from elsewhere, your friends, your family, your work, that is key and that validation will help and you need to focus on that. This will help you. 

4. Have goals and Chase them. Goals give clarity and help you come out of abusive patterns. If you have a goal and small steps set out to achieve it. Your mind will be focussed there and you would be forced to take action. Everytime their manipulative way blocks you and breaks you, be reminded of your goals 

5. Speak it out. Communicate to them of what you can see, label their behavior, don't be afraid. Yes don't get into arguments that derail and put them back in charge of manipulation but hold your ground! Ensure they know you can see through what they do and let them know why it is unacceptable 

6. Seek Therapy. This is often a must to find support, to set things right, to ensure you don't fall back into the trap of manipulation, to get perspective, to get strategies, to discuss, to gain strength, to find yourself! Therapy at IWill has helped heal so many people who had manipulative spouses or partners or even a friend! 

It's not OK for someone to play with your mind and numb you! 

Often times you are the one losing with a manipulative person like this and every day so, while gaining nothing!

Manipulation is done because they want power.

They want to be the only one in the relationship and it's never good for you! They want to have power and don't care how it breaks your trust and security, the two biggest things in a relationship

For therapy at IWill, just press start IWill journey on top right corner, take assessment and book your paired best therapist and have online sessions and see life transforming or you can do same process by downloading the app. START NOW!

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