IWill 2021-06-14 01:29 - 2 minute read

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Men who listen to their families to ignore wife should never marry

IWill user


I was probably the most depressed person on earth after marriage!
I felt like my life’s remote control wasn’t in my hands!
My husband who had a love marriage with me after we got married started ignoring me, leaving me alone, because of manipulation that his family would do!

Things like now you have a wife, you don’t need us!
Now you should spend time wit her, who are we!
Your friends are ignored too! A man needs his friends but you are always with your wife!
She is not like us. She doesn’t respect us. We don’t feel comfortable around her!
You have to prove who do you love more? A family who is been there for you all these years or a woman who has just come! They warned that sons change! But never knew this will happen to us!

This and more was said to my husband and in no time, he started ignoring me. Started asking me to change, adjust, speak less, listen to others more,l! And when I fought, he would blame me! Blame me to be wanting to separate him from his family! It was all about them and I was lost’

I joined iwill therapy because I was so lonely, so confused and humiliated that I wanted to die!

It was here that I learned to respect myself first! This family; even my husband was not more important than me!

I couldn’t be crying over their fault! Yes bad had happened to me, but my blaming myself, crying, leaving my work, isolated from people who loved me, I was engaging in SELF HARM!

Self-harm in the fake belief that it will have impact on people and turn them
Kinder towards me! The therapist helped me see that this would not even make them realize!

Next my husband joined therapy too on my insistence! It was in therapy that at least he could see,

“Not he, I was separated from my family!
Not they, I was being isolated and at a time when I needed my husband the most!
Not being disrespectful, I was just trying to have my place as a family member while everyone else wanted me to be a yes educated maid or just a less human being!
Not they, I was being at a serious risk of being left alone and it was not ok for a wife to be treated in this way!

My husband understood slowly that he had been ignoring me for his family, something that was not just wrong, it was emotionally abusive!

My life is changing but I do want to say thank you to iwill. I feel marriage should always include therapy, because else a woman loses herself! Else don’t marry!

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