Mental self-harm- are you doing things that are causing you great loss and damage?
We all have heard about physical self-harm. Acts of suicide or hitting oneself and we know how painful, how not ok this is.
But what we do with much more frequency and no one stops us, not even us is mental self-harm! It’s damaging.
It causes great loss to one’s potential, it causes loss of happiness and success and a decline in general mental wellbeing.
So how exactly do people engage in mental self-harm? Are you doing it too? Let’s find out
1. Negative self talk
We all doubt ourselves sometimes. But those engaging in mental self-harm talk negatively about themselves more frequently.
Things like “I am not capable”, “that person is so much more talented than me”, “ I only lose”, “I have only lost in life”, “I would be a failure as I have been one”.
If we feed our mind with this kind of conversation regularly, we are creating thoughts that will distress us, hurt us and only pain us, therefore diminishing our ability to take any positive action.
Ideally, we all fail, but we don’t decide that we are the failures... that distinction is the difference for example, between negative or positive self-talk!
2. Trying to “change” the abuser
Good people always want to save the world, bring change, make a change of heart or personality of a person who is otherwise hurting us, or is toxic or abusive! And so if we endlessly try, cry, yell at them, talk to them, stop eating, stop taking care of ourselves to make them realize that they are wrong and they need to change, it’s all in vain! An abuser will remain so... it’s not our job to change them or fix them by breaking ourselves and yet we do this in a loop even when we realize it has broken us. This needs to change. As this is mental self-harm!
3. Procrastinating and delaying
We learn a habit that grips us. We see time passing and we let it pass, thinking and convincing ourselves that all of this is recoverable, that time gone will come back... but it doesn’t and only this problem worsens. We fall behind and behind and behind! Yes, it’s not as easy to break free from it but the realization that this needs to be changed today and you need to act for it will take you to help. You can connect with a psychologist and tame this habit!
4. Blaming others for your problems
Life may be bad. People may be horrible. Problems may have come. But if we keep blaming others, we give away control of our life to outside factors. We can also become more bitter and resentful which would further take away our ability to fight, to change a life, to make it better!
Blaming others for our problems won’t help even when someone else may be responsible. Picking one’s strength up and making change for self, taking responsibility for one’s life is the only behavior that can stop this mental self-harm!
Mental self-harm is incredibly common. We all engage in it at some point. But if this has gone out of check, ruining your life slowly, it’s time you take control and seek therapy to fix it.
Your life deserves happiness, not assaults and baggage burying you!
At IWill our therapists can help you understand if & why you are engaging in mental self-harm and step by step help you stop it so that you can rebuild your life!