Mentally broken, lost, hurt, betrayed by people around, & in company of selfish people. I am shocked how powerful I am and what I have become 

IWill blogs

 

Who I am today 

After not having a stable job for more than 6 months, unable to perform, I finally not only have work, it's my own and i show up everyday. No setback is tough enough to stop me. I face it all and get back up.

I no longer take abuse of any nature. I no longer please those who are toxic to me, who remind me of my failures, expect me to do things for them and act like it's my birth duty to be there for them, to serve them, while they have no responsibility towards me and my suffering.

 

I no longer sit and cry for all that has happened and is happening. I have learnt the art to move on irrespective. I have learnt to not see myself as the problem, but see a problem as something that needs to be fixed.

I am planning to buy a new house. I have no funds as of now but I have no doubt. I will make my own house.

I no longer keep speaking to those who betrayed me. You chose to move out. My life isn't an open door for garbage. It's a one way street.

 

What I was

I was an extremely happy and sensitive person but life took turns as it does. I met people who were so toxic they completely made me feel incompetent, unworthy and broken. I lost my faith because of people and how they would treat me and in turn ended up in depression, making bad choices for myself, for my career and ruining it.

People would ensure my partner would be away from me.

I would be attacked on every small thing. This is falling. That is not ok. What I did was wrong.

Oh I failed again.. reminder of my mistakes even when things are getting better.

I was a broken soul. And breaking down further... everyday losing more, losing the will to fight or even be...

Someone told me I have all signs of depression and things can turn around. I felt well I know I have depression but they don't know that it can't be fixed.

 

They asked me to try a few sessions at Iwill. I joined this platform. My therapist I can proudly say is Devisha Batra.

She helped me first come to terms with that yes there was pain. Yes I had been through a lot and that yes people were toxic but I didn't have to break myself, I didn't have to see I am alone.... tough times come but i had to stand for myself.

I had to work for myself. I had to love myself. 

She helped me to rise back. She helped fight for myself. She helped me cut my ties with people who broke me and speak for myself.

And today I stand defeating my inner pain, outer troubles and standing tall.

Never let others have power to destroy you!!!

They will push you to depression making you doubt everything about yourself. In reality, your life will go through downs and some people will use it to break you or bring you down because they are jealous. You need to stand for yourself. 

As I did.

Sanjana Lakhani