IWill 2022-09-11 07:33 - 2 minute read

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Mother in law always dominates, never makes me feel I can do anything in her home and it breaks me 

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Oh we don't cook like this, stop it, do it in this way.

I don't like the colour orange. I never used it for home decor.

I really like that showpiece there, don't move it please.

Oh don't move that sofa from there.

We don't do that festival in our home.

Oh so you did everything? Now I am not needed in this home. I will go somewhere else. 


This was my mother in law.

She kept complete control over the house. I couldn't do anything. Everything had to be her way, whatever she approved of, only that should happen.

She would get upset if anyone else was appreciated. She would get visibly angry

She would get upset with her son if he praised me or tried to support me in doing anything in her home.

She would take every small thing I did as a challenge to her authority.

And this was breaking me. I was being reduced to nothing in this home.

I would feel suffocated. I couldn't bring vegetables that I wanted to eat, I couldn't do things on my own. My mother in law really wanted to have complete control and no say for anyone else in the house.


I was depressed, hurt and always on the edge.

I felt let down by my husband but I could also see how he was scared of drama and he didn't have a lot of free will in the home.

I felt stuck, hurt and devastated.

I joined IWill therapy on recommendation of my friend and it was in therapy that I learnt to focus back on my life. To not let negativity impact me to a point where I become completely broken


She helped me see that all her behaviors were more to do about her and her personality and much less to do about me.


My husband joined couple therapy and he could see why it was important to take stand for me. Why was it important to make space for me in his home. He had to do it. By talking to his mom, his family but he had to do it for me.


I started standing up for me.

I stopped feeling low basis what was said about me. I would focus on my work, I would ignore and not give this mental energy.

My husband started making space for me, standing up for me, and asserting that I had this home as my home too. That it wasn't ok to insult me or isolate me or treat me as a nobody.


When I see him standing up for me, I get tears in my eyes. Its been really tough for me to be so isolated and ignored and cut off in this home. I am slowly working on my mental health and getting better. 

I will always stand for myself and prioritise my wellbeing now. I can't be broken anymore.

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