IWill 2023-01-18 12:38 - 6 minute read

Book & Start IWill Therapy Now Online On Play Store App Store

My depression was so chronic. It would always come back. Not anymore. Here is how I overcame it 

IWill blogs


I had been depressed for as long as I remember. The inability to feel happy, the self doubt always being a part, the loneliness, the inability to feel excited about life, the deep pain within of living in a life I had never imagined it will become, all of this was a constant.

So much had happened with me in life. And I never stopped to process or understand any of it

I fell in love with a person who didn't need or love me as much. I continued being in that toxic bond craving for their love, doing things to please them but nothing would happen. I became empty, completely broken and one with lost self esteem.

Somehow the relationship survived because i just didn't have the strength to see it break. As time passed on, I saw my work life was now so challenging. I had missed important years and milestones and now I was struggling to make a mark, even to get access to work.

And then my parents started aging, started having health problems. It's not that it was happening to only me but i was the one most unhappy with work, with relationship struggles that by the time, I became some what normal in that, health struggles came.


I had become completely hopeless.

I would feel ashamed of myself snd my choices.


I would do things to make myself happy but nothing lived long enough.

Every morning this deep sense of emptiness would hold me. I would find it difficult to stay focused. I would want miracles to happen and wishes to gain back all that I had lost. I was just so chronically sad, aloof, so broken internally that the SMALLEST of trigger would destroy me.


A small fight, a small comparison, a small hurt would break me. 

And I was tired at how selfish people were. They left me whenever they wanted to. Everything like this would break me further.

No one would try and understand what i was going through. 

It had been a decade and I had been stuck in my emotional space of hurt, of not being able to break through, of thinking I am never good enough.

I read an article by IWill on depression somewhere and it felt it was me, it was about me.... and I decided to start therapy at IWill, seek help.

My therapist at IWill understood me so well and so quickly, she could see how my life had overlapped with pain, how there was hurt due to missed and incomplete milestones, due to trauma, due to this sense that I was less.

That may be I deserved to be left behind. 

But she then helped me challenge all my assumptions snd thoughts. I was left behind not because I didn't deserve good, i was left behind because I never prioritized myself.

In that toxic relationship early on, rather than standing up for me, I became weak and allowed someone to treat me poorly and still be with them, thinking I can't do it alone.

I always did the same. I always second guessed myself.

Therapist helped me to see that I had to let go of this fatigue, that I had to work for me, for myself consistently and also not compare myself to others all the time

She helped me learn how in the morning when pain cripples me, I say good things to myself, I see the good in me, I talk to people who encourage me and get started.

She helped me break the monotony and try new things and no matter what people said or do, trust in self.


She helped me disconnect this mindset of comparison with one or the other person. She helped me see how my life was my circle, my growth journey, not a race with anyone.


And for people who left me, she helped me get stronger, focus on self, let go of thoughts of people no longer in my life. They didn't deserve me. 

Through therapy, i have started seeing the good in me, through therapy I have learnt to prioritise things that may not give immediate results but will change my trajectory in long term. 


She helped me celebrate small wins, find ways to feel happier with who I am and what I got....

And after a decade, I smile for no reason, I don't wake up with that empty, heavy feeling of why I exist. For the first time in decades, I am loving myself again, i am standing up for myself.

For the first time in decade, I have more happy days than sad. I have more faith in me than anyone else. I have a sense of love for self, of confidence that I am enough, I will always be enough.

If you are going through chronic self doubt, sadness and depression. It is important you seek help, it's important you unlearn all the negative things said about you, cut off from all the people mentally who have left you anyways.

Seek healing for yourself today. Seek therapy. You don't deserve unresolved tears. You deserve a smile from the heart. Go and get it.

Book & Start IWill Therapy Now Online On Play Store App Store

The best online therapy experience
Play Store App Store