My father in law ensured that I get respect & my husband stops falling for competition of ignorance to prove to his mom and sister 

IWill blogs

What was happening ?

Mom did everything for you. She is so lonely. You have changed so much. Never expected this from you, said his sister to my husband.

Why do you spend your money on her? She earns her own salary. You have a house ro take care of, said his mom.

Why do you make these plans with her. It's your birthday, it should be the family, she is just a new person, she is your wife, and how can you ignore your mom for her.

Why is she sitting in the front seat. Please go back. It's always mom who has sat here.

If me and my husband came from a movie, he and I both would get silent treatment, I would get uninvited toxicity and he would get some more lectures in a room closed that I could sense 

And soon my husband just stopped spending time with me..he was so scared of the fights and all the drama. And also he was manipulated to feel guilt.

 

How was I feeling ?

I would cry. I was having such anxiety on what was happening. I felt so badly and poorly treated and almost betrayed..I would talk to my husband and he and I would fight, and then he would tell me how I was not understanding how his family had done so much for me.

I was so betrayed inside. I never thought my husband who loved me so dearly could ignore me so much. That he could just leave me on my own and would ignore, me to this extent.

 

What did I do?

I joined IWill therapy as I was so depressed and therapy did help me a lot in terms of feeling this pathetic pain about myself. It stopped because through therapy I realised, it's not me. It's them.

Therapist at IWill also helped me focus on standing up for self, in confiding someone who was witness to all this and wasn't a part.

She also started couple therapy and helped my husband see what I was going through and where had the love gone. If I did the same to him, how would he feel about this! 

 

 

My father in law and his help 

He started changing and one person who I confided in was my father in law. He had always been very nice to me and he was a witness to all that was happening. When he could hear from me, how isolated and lonely I was feeling in all this.

He stood with me like a father.

He would tell my husband to be a man and not ignore me. He said that why does your mother expect me to be around her or help her or love her if this is bad.

He would tell him that I and he would lead a life together long beyond everyone and everything else and hence we needed to stick with each other and be on each other's side. 

If his sister would make a remark like this, my father in law would take my side and would say that all of it can come back to you, don't make someone who is intelligent, worthy of as much love as you go through this and that he is let down in her.

 

He would ensure that I and my husband are spending time together and whenever something silly is said on my husband giving me time, buying me things, I sitting in front of car, he would intervene to stop the non-sense.

 

He literally helped me like his own daughter.

He ensured that the home feels like mine.

He ensured that my favorite things are asked for. My wins are celebrated and that my husband isn't made to feel the guilt anymore.

Even if there are attempts, he made sure that I have happiness.

I am so thankful to IWill therapy and how she helped me do right things for myself, assert, communicate, the couple therapy and also confiding in my father in law who made sure I never face any of this again.