My hope is my lessons to my daughter and my son can redefine families & lead to happier future generations.
I am a father who is experimenting a lot with parenting. I have been in counseling at IWill myself not just to heal myself, but to learn to not pass the generational trauma, hurt and pain to my kids, to give them a home and learning environment that helps them have a better, more purposeful, confident and happier life.
I have one son and one daughter. My son is older, he is 10 years old and daughter is 6 years old.
Things I ensure for both children
I always help them grow from the level of self.
I focus on continous improvement, not on immediate results or competitive rivalry.
I always ask them to try and try better and more informed each time. If they fail, focusing on what can be changed to change results rather than any personal rejection.
I teach them both to have emotional space to speak.
I teach them kindness, help and openness to listen and speak.
I don't stop them from choosing a pink or blue. I don't force their innocence one way or the other
Things I ensure for my boy
I don't scold him when he cries. I listen to him and encourage his emotional space.
I don't burden him with heavy ideas that he needs to take care of all, he is a big brother and so he must do this and that.
I have helped him learn continous work and reflecting and growing on his dreams.
He equally helps me in household work, which I do with his mother to never give the impression, that working at home is any less because it's not.
I never use the words like he is stronger, more responsible than his sister. I don't want to discourage one to falsely uplift the other.
I love him, hug him, hold him and listen to him, my son needs as much empathy and kindness.
I don't raise my voice on him under this excuse that it's OK since he is a male child and I can rough him up. He is my child.
Things I ensure for my girl
I never make her feel she shouldn't play in the sun, not get her hands dirty or play, she is a child and she needs to he treated like that.
I never set a limit for her that wow as a girl, that's a huge jump or thats a huge win, I don't want her to feel left out or with limits.
She is as involved in learning finances, plumbing with me as the boy.
I don't tell her wedding stories. She doesn't need to put weight of her dreams on another man. I don't tell her that I Will protect her from bad. I enable her to feel totally capable of winning her own battles on her own.
She can ask her brother to get her things as he can ask her. There is only who is not tired enough to help, there is no, what can boy or girl help.with
I treat my daughter with respect, I ensure she doesn't feel difference in expectations or responsibility.
I have a hope. When my children grow up, they would have a good life, they would be good in family, good at work and most importantly good for self too, respectful and hopeful.
My kids are my biggest responsibility. I as father conscientiously, taking their responsibility. I hope this article inspires some parents to do this too, what you want your kids to be would very well be different than me, my hope is this blog motivates you, to give some more conscious effort.