My husband had to stop listening to his mom and sister to save our marriage

IWill Blogs

She makes you work so much, even I did not do this to you 
[Said his mom to my husband]

She doesn't talk to others like she talks to you 
[Said his sister to him]

You would have done so much better with a wife who cared for you. She is always busy with her career.

You are so less cared for. Is this a wife you said loves you the most.

I feel so tired here.  Your wife is never at home to help.

She took the coffee first and didnt ask you.

She talks to her mother but never to me.

She isolates me and doesnt talk to me the whole day. I really understand she is busy but I am also here.

This and more was said constantly to my husband when my mother in law and sister in law came to stay with us.

In less than a month's time, my husband became aggressive, angry and distant from me.

He stopped going out with me to my friends and always felt I was not considerate of him.

He would pass sarcastic remarks and constantly try to talk to his mother only ignoring me.
He would be quiet and not talk to me one bit.

We had lost our relationship. Anything I would say, he would explode on it.

I was so pained and humiliated. I was hurt and missed my husband's love for me. Trying to communicate with him would make it worse. He would say things that were hurtful.

Each day there would be drama and each day his mom would make me feel like that she is trying to help. 

I was breaking down internally. 

I joined IWill therapy online individual sessions first. 

On looking at our relationship, it became clear to our therapist that it was a weak relationship, open to manipulation.

She helped me see that people, even closest relative will say many things basis their need for power or control but that should not break our relationship dynamics.

She understood that things were said by his mom and sister but she also helped me realise that we cant control people and cannot think they will have our best interest in mind.

Somehow I convinced my husband to join therapy with me.  

It was here that therapist helped him see first how much i loved him and how much i did for him as he did for me.

Next she helped him and me see that no matter what our relationship should be strong that no one can influence it.

Even if its his mother, she helped him see that her opinion would be one sided and also coming from lens of control. As would be of people who are close to me. She helped him and me realise that we must be close and we must communicate to remove our differences. 

She helped us learn the art of communication.
She helped us learn how to set boundaries and closest people to us also cannot take our advantage.
She helped us learn how to respect our presence in each other's life.

Today when someone including his mother tells something to my husband, he sets his boundary.

He apologised for behaving as he did behave with me.

If you are in a weak relationship where the influence of a third destroys your dynamics, seek IWill therapy. Dont let anyone have power over your couple relationship.

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