My husband left me to please family. I am glad it’s over and now he regrets it. Karma

Jyoti

When my ex-husband met me 

I was walking down one of the malls in Delhi.

My ex-husband saw me. I was with a man who was holding me, deeply in love, he is my husband and he really values me... his family respects my relationship with him and honours it. I was laughing, I was happy...
 

When my EX-husband called me 
He looked at me and on my unchanged number he called me next day..
he asked me how was I?
And I said  "I was good...It took me time to heal,  I was in therapy for a long on this same platform iwill, I joined a job, and started focusing on myself. I started taking care... and I met Ashutosh. And he promised to be a good man, I took my time and finally we got married... I am doing great...
how are you Arun?" I asked...
and he said
“I am sorry. I feel very lonely... you were so loving... you always laughed, happy, and I got Convinced this was wrong, that your smiling meant you were not cultured. I am so sorry... I miss you and I feel sorry for everything that happened... I see my friends with happy marriage and I miss you... “

"I understand Arun, you take care... I have no hard feelings for you...
but just one thing, loving your parents doesn’t allow you to abuse someone else who is someone else’s daughter too
Husband and wife is as important a relationship. Wish next time you take care..."

This is what the call between us was...

What had happened between him and me when we were married

I had loved my ex husband Arun and all I had wanted was for him to understand that my place ins his life was also as important, that I was a happy person and that he was attacking me for my personality because someone else wanted me to be a different almost non existent person..


I would say to him during our time together:-

“No please don’t misunderstand me. I have been only asking for your love, attention ...

I  am not trying to come in between you and your mother and family... all I am trying to do is be your wife... How is wanting to be with you, going against anyone?”

“Why have you started comparing me and constantly giving me hints that I am less? Why do you ignore me? Why do you always show that you don’t have time just for me?  Where has our love gone?

I would cry. I would feel bad. I would be hurt. But this had no impact.
My husband who first gave all the attention to me suddenly pulled it away!! His mother didn’t like me and to please her, he started completely isolating me...

I tried a lot but he wanted me to be just there and not expect, just be there and be like all other “members” and not try and overstep his mother.

How I got out of this and where I am today

Guess he didn’t know the meaning of marriage. Guess he didn’t know the importance of spouse.

Eventually, he left me. And this was the most hurtful period of me!! I was in extended therapy, questioning my existing , my life, my next steps were so blurred and unclear... but eventually things changed... I learnt to out the pain behind me... to now stand for self and also eventually I found love, a man who is man enough to love me.

And as my ex-husband shared, he misses me, he now knows that I wasn’t wrong all along...

Wife is as important. She is your partner.
She has a personality and her laughter is filling your home with love... not taking it away...

Jyoti

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