My husband realized that I was there for his love, not for INSULTS by his FAMILY! 

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My husband now says this 

Why should she not expect me to spend time with her? She is here for me only! She is married to me and is my life partner.

Why should she speak to people who are so rude to her? Why should she always listen to comments about her parents, her career choices, her looks, and her life?

This is not OK! She married me for happiness, not to be bullied by people with no other work to do! 

Why should she sacrifice her career to please others? 

Why should she leave her work to entertain others? She didn't marry me to destroy her career or her goals... This home should enable her to do more in life, not less. Everyone should say that my wife has become more successful in marrying me, not less!

Why should she do everything for others? Why should she be the only one always expected to call, talk, and make relationships?

Why can't others do the same for her? Why do others ignore her and keep this so one-sided? This is so toxic and it's not ok with me...

 

This was my husband who had started standing up for me and for my happiness, for my time with him, for my respect, and for my goals!

He had started standing up against my bullying, against this expectation that I should be OK listening to things that were said in bad spirit for me. He started standing up for my happiness and my emotional safety in his home...

 

But things were not always the same. When I got married to him, though this was a love marriage,

Initially in the name of \"Don't be a joru ka Ghulam\", don't change for your wife, don't come in between your wife and other family members or else she will never become a family and similar things, he would listen to them and not interfere.

I would be lonely in his presence, attacked by his family, bullied for being myself and I felt so lonely!
I felt why I was at his home when he couldn't take care of me. HE WAS THE REASON I WAS THERE. EVERY DAY I WOULD CRY, BE DEPRESSED, AND CRY MYSELF TO SLEEP

 

I joined IWill therapy. The therapist at IWill helped me focus on my happiness, my goals, and my work and then once I got somewhat better, we started couple therapy at IWill.

It was in couple therapy that the therapist at IWill helped him see that by being there for me, he was being my husband and not joru ka Ghulam, she helped him see that if he is married, he would change! When he becomes a father, will he not make time for his child? Will he not love the child? As my wife, has my life not changed? Then how did he EXPECT MY LIFE NOT TO CHANGE? 

She also helped him see that no bond between his family and me was forming with BULLYING. The only thing it was doing was destroying me as a person, as a human being!  She helped him see that this was not forming any bond, but rather was breaking me!!! 

Therapy at IWill helped my husband realize my importance in his life and THAT I AM HERE FOR HIM, NOT FOR BULLYING AND DISRESPECT OF HIS FAMILY!

We share such a strong bond today and I am so happy that he loves me and stands up for me, thanks to IWill

Meena Singh

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