My most innocent things were twisted and I was made to look so manipulative. My worst phase
What I would do
I was a really innocent and normal happy-go-lucky person...
I would ask questions about things that made me wonder why?
I would love with all my heart, do things to please my loved ones, express how I have right on them with love and do funfilled things to bring joy and happiness.
I would love to laugh and be happy. I always thought happiness is why we are alive...
I would not believe in discrimination or someone being less or more and I was vocal about it.
I thought home is home and you can be yourself.
You are allowed to be the person you are in your own skin.
How these things were twisted against me!
She always questions because she is not obedient. She doesn’t respect others.
She is trying to control you. She is trying to take you away from us. All these are her tactics... how does she treat you? She should respect you! What is she doing to you in front of people? Everyone thinks you have no respect!
She is always laughing or smiling. She is so childish.
This is not her role. Everyone makes fun of insults saying we didn’t get someone with the right values. You must stop her...
And what this led to
This constant manipulation led to my loved ones and everyone starting to see my good things as bad.
So my love and attention is now control!!
My fun is silly!
My need to have my voice or place like home is trying to disrespect others!
My love and need for companionship are controlling and dominating.!
Every day there was a fight.
Every day my isolation was increasing.
Every day I was ignored and made to miss and lose out on love.
What was also bad was that this manipulation worked. That my loved one didn’t see how it was twisting normal things and making them look bad.
But it happened!
What did I do?
I felt that kind of pain like I have never felt.
To be unfairly targeted, to be isolated, to be outright bullied, and for your loved one also getting to this manipulation and forgetting all the promises made is the worst pain that can come... but now here I was, I had it... and I had to fight it out.
I took IWill therapy. It allowed me a space of speaking out, of not letting go of my personality no matter what others say, to love myself, to stay the ground, to stand for myself, to question these beliefs, and also to look at my worth beyond these people and even my own loved one...
It was tough but I stopped crying again... I would have fun, I would meet up with friends and focus on my work but I didn’t want to leave my relationship and let these manipulators win! I started having honest but non-attacking conversations with my loved one and ask the basis of doing this isolation for me!!!! How was this made him look? Wasn’t he attacking the wrong person here?
I kept my ground, he too joined a few IWill couple sessions, and manipulation faded away. Once he had an unbiased opinion, he could see, all I ever did was love and all I ever was, myself and he had held me guilty for that.. he felt really sorry and also numb when this gaslighting went away... I am trying to forgive and move on...
it would continue to hurt how I was made to look bad for the good that was in me, how I was isolated for giving my love, and how I was vilified for expressing my desire to be with the person I was going to live my life with... but I am working on it.