IWill 2023-05-23 12:20 - 4 minute read

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My mother in law kept husband away from me in name of duties. And I was tired of being alone. Not anymore 

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1. You can't go out today. You have to do this for your sister. It's your duty. Go to her home today.

2. When he is talking to me in the morning. "Now will be in your bedroom even in the morning? Don't you know some things need to be done? Or you have no responsibility towards your home"?

3. When buying me something, ",you are already overspending money on things that are not needed. You have responsibility of so many people".

4. If giving me minor attention, "you have changed a lot. We did so many sacrifices for you but nothing affected you, all our love for you gone in vein"

5. If sitting with me for sometime, something urgent would always come up.

6. If praising me, someone else would always be brought up to compare.


That home had become isolated hell for me

My husband was constantly bullied and brainwashed to not to talk to me.

I could see he wasn't all wrong. He just wanted to be as non confrontational as possible and was constantly kept on a watch for being with me.

Further i was always taunted, belittled, and made to feel like I was less than them. Constant veiled attacks on me and my personality, snide and sarcastic remarks on my family, I almost felt like I was being punished to be married into this home.


How it impacted me?

I was lonely

I had lost all attention and love that I naturally had in my home.

I felt I was forced here and disliked here.

I didn't understand why was I so discriminated against.

I would cry all day and in evenings and feel like stuck forever 

I couldn't focus on my work or my life. These behaviors and thoughts around these would keep running in my mind.


What I did next ?

I joined IWill Therapy on referral from a friend who had been through a rough time due to a different issue regarding her health but therapy helped her a great deal to help her life come back to normal.

I too joined iwill to work on myself, to focus on things that made me happy, to nor be so weak that I lose complete life that I had previous to this marriage.

My therapist at iwill helped me heal, she had so much empathy for me. She helped me assert, stand for myself. Speak for myself and also not let this destroy other areas of my life.

She helped me focus on my career again, and build an open communication with my husband and talk to him about how all that was happening wasn't right.

How I wasn't in this home to be another furniture or some maid like duties that I do for everyone and no one takes care of me.

And through this communication,

My husband decided to join iwill therapy too. In therapy he could see that how I was being completely denied of love, affection and place I deserved in his life.

He was my husband and he had to take care of me. I only had him in this home who was my own and who could really love me and be my family. Didn't he have duties towards me and how were only my duties and time with me problematic?

Cousins, sisters, everyone was more important but not the wife? Wasn't this odd? 

Wasn't this extremely unfair and painful for me?

My husband could see how he was sacrificing his own emotions and mine.

How he was destroying his couple life and was being actually wrong.

He changed a lot, started standing up for me, never give up on his responsibility for me and would love me. 

I am glad we took help at the right time and while my pain will always be there of being treated so poorly when I least expected it, i am thankful that it didn't destroy my marriage and my happiness completely.

A daughter in law is your child. It's worst pain when you get somebody's apple of eye and then make them suffer so much due to insecurity.

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