IWill

IWill 2022-08-12 12:21 - 4 minute read

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My partner gaslighted always. real examples. 

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Gaslighting is a form of abuse where a person is constantly abusing someone and then tries to alter their feelings and reality by denying that any such abuse happened.

This abuse pattern breaks a person because they never get a sincere apology from the other side, they start questioning their mental health and perception about things and become extremely pained, mentally exhausted and also lose their sense of self.

I was being gaslighted against since my marriage. And yet my partner was liked by everyone and seen as better than me

 I was seen as emotionally weak or overactive person and everyone would tell me to change or that how good my partner is.

I was exhausted and I felt low, I had started taking the abuse but my inside would break everyday. It took me years until I started therapy at IWIll, systematically getting the strength to assert, to call out gaslighing, to gain my confidence and to get back at the person abusing me.

I am much more confident today, incharge of my own reality, working on a great career.

I wanted to share 5 clear examples of gaslighting from my life to help someone else going through the same, feel understood and aware...

 

1. Always belittling my abilities and then attacking me for lack of confidence 

Oh you have written this, it's OK but it has many errors.

Oh you are thinking of taking job, it's serious business, it's a tough work environment, it needs a lot of personality

How dumb can you be ? My god you embarrass me.

You don't know how to speak and make a point?

Do you even know what it takes to work in corporations?

 

This and more would be said by him to me.

 

And then randomly he would say, 

You should work. Why don't you have any drive?

Why don't you speak and say things?

What do you keep doing sitting all day?

 

And if I would say that but you don't think I am capable, he would react and fight and deny that he ever broke my confidence or said anything and would tell me that I am making excuses.

 

2. Always be rude and attack and blame me for fights

First he would get angry and speak so rude, he would give silent treatment and stop taking to me or say hurtful things and attacks me for things in his life, his career, his inability, his wasting time on me, my childishness and everything else.

He would continue till my emotional Resilience breaks and I start crying and feeling bad and then he attacked me everytime for being a drama and reacting to "nothing" because he would just deny that he said anything or meant anything!

 

3. Saying things and later denying and blaming me for imagining 

I can't live with you, you are the problem

Someone else said something about me and telling me that.

Saying no for going somewhere.

Taking a decision

Saying things in anger to me which are vile

Later when I would quote him or tell him if things went wrong and it was his decision, he would deny straight and blame me for imagining.

He would say worst things and just deny it later, deny, deny until making me feel that the blame is mine.

Gaslighting is continously manipulating a person to make them feel like they are mentally unstable, that their emotions are invalid and it can cause depression, resentment and anger and broken personality. It happened with me and I took a long time to overcome and stand against it.

Hence I shared my story to comfort those who are going through this and say that it's not you, it's them. Your emotions, your pain is valid, your self doubt is because of being attacked. Get up, heal yourself and fight back. 

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