My sister-in-law changed the whole atmosphere for me! I was surprised
My sister in law’s behavior
It was the first week of my marriage.
Mine was an arranged marriage and I was feeling very empty, missing my family, my husband would be busy in work and with friends and cousins and seeing them
Off. I was feeling very new, and hence very uncomfortable and struck with fear.
My sister-in-law who had been married for a few years was also there. From the first day on she had been trying to make me comfortable..
But now it was even more different...
She would be telling my husband to sit with me and take me out.
She would be telling her mother to not get insecure and to ensure that I and my husband bond and that I must be feeling awkward.
She would do things to make me comfortable!
She would ask me what my dreams were...
I didn’t believe when I met someone like her.
She would tell her brother to see how would he feel, if he was at my home, all by himself and if I kept going to friends or outside.
She would ask me to not hesitate to say things and be absolutely ok in my skin.
Someone in the family asked me to do something which was inappropriate and my sister-in-law said that all this needs to stop and that rituals that make me feel less need to go away.
Things became so different for me just because one person understood me, my pains, my expectations, my loneliness, my need to have my husband around, no insecurity around it!
My sister in law's story
One day I asked her, how come you care so much for me?
My sister in law replied because I have been on the other side.. I was so depressed when I got married.
My mother-in-law and sister-in-law insisted my husband maintain a distance from me!
I was so happy and then all my happiness crashed. I felt lonelier than ever. Because there were people all around but only there to ignore me, hurt me, make me feel less!
I was so depressed that I had to be in IWill therapy. Then my husband later joined too, he understood how much I had suffered... I was treated like a human with no emotions, only conditioning to do duties, to not care for my dislikes and likes, to not eat what I love, to just be there serving others...
He changed a lot! But it had alrwdy scarred me!!! I still get panic sometimes... I still cry ... I am still in therapy... and I don’t want my bhabhi to go through the same...
I don’t want our family to be the reason, why a girl’s dreams are shattered and broken! And hence I take care bhabhi.
Anytime you need me, I would always be there. You can count on me!
I felt so happy that my sister in law who got this pain is making sure I don’t live it, I felt very bad for her but also couldn’t help but think that if every sister in law and mother in law learns from her pain and sees other woman as same, there will no more of us, who face the same thing.