IWill

IWill 2023-12-28 01:17 - 2 minute read

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My wife has full identity as me. I don't want to turn her into a depressed person losing in life only to keep false egos 

IWill blogs

No my wife will be taking that new course. I want to support her in her studying

Yes I fully support my wife becoming an entrepreneur and I will do everything to see her successful.

This is my home too and my wife has equal say in what happens in my life.

I will be taking care of my baby just as my wife does. The baby is equally both of ours' responsibility 

This was me Varun standing up for my wife who was long forced to be a shadow of me and I don't know what made me join in this abuse too.

Though equally qualified, the day she married me, she was given a secondary status.

She had to follow me. I was not supposed to talk to her too much.

No discussions on her ambitions, only how she would support me.

No discussions on what I do for her or family, only what she does for us, even when it comes at the cost of who she is.

No discussion on help she has from me, dreams she has of herself and how I support those, only her roles as a daughter in law and then after exhausting through that being my shadow.

It was clearly uncomfortable but I don't know why I played along.

Why I didn't stop all this nonsense? May be due to fear of drama!

May be due to thinning this is how it is. False sense of superiority or God knows feeling a victim if my wife gets a good life

Thankfully enough we started iwill therapy and my wife was already showing extreme depressive signs. Therapist helped me see how much unfair was this.

 

Imagining one day living like her breaking every dream while being equal or more qualified was painful for her, for sure.

Imagining one day being In a state like her where I am in her home and enduring all this. 

I saw her scars, her broken emotions and her broken trust and i felt so much pain that I in a way caused it. In a way I inflicted this on her. 

Therapist at IWill helped me realise this in a way that it was so non threatening. And I could see my wife's emotions and her connection with me.

She was my partner, my equal not someone to sacrifice or cry anymore.

I have stood up for my wife. 

My wife's success and happiness mean the world to me.

Loving and being with her brings me joy.

Seeing her rise, I succeed.

We both now fulfill each other!

I am glad I am no longer breaking her spirits nor our relationship and happiness 

Shubham Singh 

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