My wife has to come first in my life. I can't make her feel last to please anyone. It broke her and my own family's future 

IWill blogs

Yes I am planning this trip with my wife. No she didn't force me. I want to spend time with her. We both have to live with each forever. And we have to have time for us.

No its not ok to talk bad about her and her choices to me. She is working and I am proud of that.. she laughs and makes home a joyous place. How does that make unfit? Why should I ask her to change? It's not right on your part for you to be telling me what should she do. 

I don't care whether my wife is to your liking or your not. And to be honest, your liking is biased when it comes to her. The exact same things someone else would do, like our sister. You would be proud of her. But for my wife, it's wrong, these are standards that are double.

She is always attacked, she is always asked sarcastically about simple things. She is always the wrong one..everyone is against her. May I know why?

Yes I will stand for my wife.

She is my first.

She is here for me and I am here for her. 

We will be raising a family together and it can't be built on my wife's ignorance and lack of respect.

I am going to be here for everyone, a good son, a good brother but don't expect me not to be a great husband. I won't deny the vows. 

 

This was me Rahul and I had been in a lot of pain, struggle and heartbreak situation with my wife

 Ours was a love marriage and I had promised my wife to be there for her.

 

But when we got married, everyone got insecure of our love. Everyone attacked me as being weak, and always controlled by my wife.

They shamed me for being good to her.

They shamed me for being kind to her.

She would be attacked also for her laughter, for her personality, for her feeling like this was her home.

 

And I fell to the trap. To avoid, fights and also some emotional manipulation, I completely started ignoring her, being out, avoiding.

 

My wife in my home was on her own.

She was isolated, remarked upon, and I don't know why I couldn't see any of it.

 

We both joined IWill therapy and it was here that the therapist helped me see what I was doing wasn't ok.

Why shouldn't I spend time with her?

Why should I not be with her. She is here just for me..she too had a family, she left.

What's wrong with her ambitions, her smile, her openness, is this not her home.

What's wrong with her Happiness. Why wasn't I responsible for her wellbeing?

What's wrong with her wanting my attention? She is my wife. That's the first thing she needs in this relationship.

IWill Therapy helped me see she was already in depression.

From a home where here laughter was music, she was now where her laughter was annoying.

From a home where things she liked would be done like her favorite food, to this place, where even making basic things as per her requirement was denied.

 

What was this and how was I allowing that?

 

I am glad we joined couple therapy at IWill.

My wife is my first and will remain so. I am glad I don't have to be in this pain anymore.

She will always be my first. I am sorry that she went into depression, never again.