IWill 2022-05-19 09:15 - 4 minute read

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My wife is here for me not for my mom or others. I realized 

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I and my wife were at IWill therapy. I was very pained and hurt that my wife wasn't good with my mom... And she was upset that I wasn't there for her... We were having fights, and arguments on a daily basis, and I didn't know how to correct this. I had such high dreams of happiness from my marriage and what we were living through was painful..


I told my therapist at IWill in one of the sessions.

You know my mom always says that my wife doesn't love her like my sister does or like I do.

She often asks that why does my wife always want to spend time with me and not with her.. Doesn't she love her?



Ok, IWill therapist said,

But your wife will need time with you...Remember she is your wife? She is here for you? This is the dream she married for...


And basis discussions you and I and your wife Ritika had over the course of sessions, one thing is clear 

You don't spend time with her... You are stopped to give time to her and it's said that others will take care...

But why is she here in your home? She had her own parents, with due respect to her own siblings, she is here first for you... How can you be not there for her and expect her to be happy!


She isn't here to give your mom attention. That is one part of being in a family.

But she is here to have your attention and give hers to you... That's totally missing... You are always expected to show your love for others, but not for her, to get things for others but few or none for her, always apologize if you give her any attention from others...  How will she feel happy? 


 What about basic love for your wife? What about basic acceptance of her needs, not criticizing her for the clothes she wears, and things she does, not making her feel like she doesn't belong here. She is an individual with dreams and needs just like you... why is she treated like she is less than others?

 Right now she is being isolated while also being denied your love...


Giving attention to her and giving her some care while blocking her relationship with you, the reason why she is here will never make her happy!


I realized one thing that i was getting wrong... My wife was here for me, not for my mom or to please others... Yes, we are a family but the main couple bond is ours and that needs to be respected!

I started standing up for my wife

I started giving her time!
I stopped listening to snide remarks made to her!

I realised my wife is here for me first.... Our relationship is so much better now and I don't judge her... I don't ignore her! I have only love for her 

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