IWill

IWill 2021-11-28 01:28 - 4 minute read

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My wife is in my life for love, yet she was getting ignored & sidelined  I realised

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My wife ever since our marriage was always unhappy.

She was not this person. She used to be laughing all the time, very polite and kind to others. She was always so happy and never stressed

Yet after our marriage, she wasn’t the same person. She would be quiet, angry , crying or very very artificial.

The thing was this was a love marriage and my family was different. They were a little traditional in my opinion but I thought my wife would be able to adjust!
I was also trying to give attention to my family members so that they don’t feel that I have changed because of my wife and they feel normal too!

But things were getting from bad to worse!

I was getting really upset with my wife. She was always unhappy here, never mixing with anyone, not being the person I thought she was... and she was also upset with me, always fearful that I would desert her and always  hurt.

We decided to join iwill therapy, to fix what was possibly happening between us and also settle our mental Heath better!  We were only fighting, hardly sleeping, hardly working. It was a pretty bad phase!

It was in therapy that I understood what was the crux of the issue.

My wife was happy earlier because she was around people, with people who valued her, who didn’t judge her.
She was in a set up where she was everyone’s attention in a good way!

And here since she was married;

She was sometimes taunted for how she spoke, or how she had to be as a daughter in law. Compared to others to show what is expected. No one really spoke to her in the happy go lucky manner as she was!

And I was ignoring her too, to please others! If I had married her, it was my responsibility to be with her, to make her feel this home belongs to her, that I belong to her! I should have changed , I was married now. I had my wife...

It wasn’t ok to ignore her and be with others! Others hadn’t changed their life or were not coming with a lot of expectations! My wife was...

It was abusive to her emotionally, to see me always trying to balance... it made her feel out of place. It made her doubt her decision to get married to me!


I was really not giving her love!
And I realized she cannot adjust to being not herself!


She wasn’t childish, she was lovely!
She wasn’t temperamental, she was without love and feeling lonely

The responsibility of becoming a life partner is not just of the wife, it’s as much of the husband!

I realised the hurt, the pain, my wife went through was significant and unwarranted!

She was my responsibility! She wasn’t happy because she was ignored by me and hurt by others!

The early days of marriage for a woman bring lot of emotional upheavals!
And I am glad we started therapy, got help!

I shared my story to inspire other couples too to understand how to be happy... your wife or your husband are your partners! They need you , more than anything else and you need to stand for their individuality


Akshat

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