IWill 2024-04-29 03:11 - 2 minute read

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Narcissists are everywhere but worst is when you have a wife or husband who is a Narcissist 


Narcissists are not only obsessed with self. They cannot take anyone's shine. They like to dim other's shine, make them suffer, to feel powerful within and they have no limits when they are triggered and they can destroy and love to destroy other people around to maintain their power.

Narcissist abuse is painful. It's abusive. It's toxic. The gaslighting. The manipulation. The mask of goodness is all there. And hence they continue destroying for the longest time while acting helpless, emotionally dependent, blaming you for their behavior and how they need you and keep you in the suffering arena.

Narcissist pain, abuse and hurt becomes 100 times more hurtful, damaging and destroying when it comes from a partner that is husband or wife. Here is why! 

1. Spouse is the most important person. You live with them and spend the most time. They fill in you with maximum possible good energy and when you have a narcissistic spouse, they will take away all the energy. They would say hurtful things when you are happy, offload their emotional trauma on you, and put all their stressors on you and the responsibility.


2. Narcissists will never take their responsibility. They will always gaslight you as a partner, blame you after attacking you, randomly insult you and then make you feel like you are overacting. They would miss their duties and then blame it all on you. That you made them miss all that they could be. And They are so convincing as they use anger, pain, sadness, Attacks and even tears sometimes or extreme tantrums to convince you the trap.

3. They continue love bombing you and then cause a lot of emotional damage in between. The reason why you cannot get out of their shell is the love bombing they do, you miss their attention on you when they pull it back and then they again use big words, treat you well, only to go back to treating like you are the problem, thereby ensuring you a deep pain and at the same time this deep seated need for their validation. 

4. They isolate you from your friends or wellwishers. No one around is ever good enough. No one you love is ever worthy. They find faults, they create misunderstanding and they want you yo serve just one agenda and that agenda is theirs! 

5. They constantly attack your sense of self especially when they are angry or when you are doing really well. Unlike a spouse who would support, when you do well, they are jealous and get angry on you. They would attack your sense of worth, pass remarks on random things about your looks or others that make you conscious, compare you or tell you that somehow what you achieved is much less than what you could be. They never let you enjoy any self respect. They are constantly working to break it.


6. They CAN discard you. Narcissists are capable of eventually causing you damage and discard when they no longer need you or when you start fighting or standing up for self, they prepare for this and to you it comes out of the blue but in their head it's been simmering for a long time! And as a spouse this can be devastating! And worse is they would want to keep inflicting the pain, and keep you hooked even when discarded.


So a narcissist partner can break sense of security, impact your career, your emotional health and even future of your life because of their closeness with you and the hurt they can cause in this relationship.


What to do if you are dealing with narcissist spouse 


First thing is to seek Therapy as they keep your emotional wounds raw. They keep you emotionally damaged and in pain daily and that doesn't let you do anything, it has drained your motivation on an emotional level! 


Therapy at IWill will also enable you to help you to assert boundaries, secure your future, focus on your career, and more importantly ensure that you aren't being broken!


You also need friends, a support system. A good look at who you are! Their version of you is not the real you!

Just like them you also have one life and it's not here to serve them at your cost!

Seek Therapy at IWill. Heal. Recover. Narcissism is the worst pain and when spouse is a narcissist, it can damage you but Therapy can help you a lot! 

Also understanding the dynamics, that it's not you, to take back power from them and give it to yourself, might cause pain of emotional trauma initially. Still, it will enable you to at least live your life and find happiness for you eventually!


You are invaluable and no one is allowed to diminish your value

You deserve respect, not begging for love 

You deserve the predictability of love, not unpredictable and unstable behavior!

You deserve to be loved, not to be broken! 

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