Jealousy and hurt I felt from other women broke me as a woman

IWill blogs

If I looked good, I would be attacked and told, What is bad about me?

 If I were praised for my work and my personality, talks behind my back would start

 My sister in law and my mother-in-law ensured my husband ignores me by crying, making a fuss about me

 If I got a raise or something good happened to me, immediately, my confidence would be broken by comparisons

 I would be made to feel lonely, and remarks about me were a constant

There was no empathy for me. If I were unwell, it would be said that others are more unwell, and that I needed to be stronger

There would be remarks on me, and I would feel guilty of falling sick at the same time feel attacked

I don't know why, but I always found more pain and attacks from women. Even at the place, they would be uncomfortable with me and start attacking me or making stories about my work.

 I thought I would get love and understanding from women in my life. But sadly, apart from my father and a few friends, I faced jealousy and attacks

 The lack of empathy, the constant attacks, the lack of love and comfort, and just the amount of jealousy I received made me feel beyond sad, lonely, and attacked

 My husband would ignore me or behave a certain way to avoid fights. At my workplace, my promotion got stopped because my manager, who happened to be a woman, complained against me

 I was so hopeless. I joined IWill therapy to share my pain

 It was here that my IWill therapist helped me speak my mind and empathised with me

She helped me see that I didn't have to focus on why women were bad to me, but rather, I had to stand up for myself. I had to assert. I had to learn not to be ok with anyone mistreating me

My childhood traumas with my elder sister were making me weak, and I didn't speak up, I didn't say the right thing in front of a powerful female

 I needed to speak up when I was unwell, and it doesn't matter who else has been unwell; I deserve the rest

 I needed to speak up and assert, and ask my husband why he was getting bullied and why he would ignore me, and do that in an assertive and non-confrontational way

I had to apply for other jobs and at the same time speak to my manager and ask her the basis of her decision and stand up for myself politely

She also helped me connect again with good friends of mine, especially females, to heal my trauma

 My husband joined therapy, and he could understand how lonely I was becoming at his place. How he needed to stand for me

 Also, my therapist encouraged me to work and get strength in myself. I got another great job opportunity, and I used that to get my promotion here, too

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