People toxic to you are seen as best due to their constant drama! Worst pain
Some people are really bad in the four walls of their home. They are high on insecurity. They can’t see people pursuing their own dreams. They can’t see anyone getting the attention or praising someone else. They can’t see normal relationships flourishing between them.
They control each and every one and want people only to admire them; have relationships with them!
It’s painful to live with them. Since they strip you of your identity! They cause a lot of harm to you emotionally! They isolate you and make you feel “too small”.
And yet you never get support against their abuse! They are always doing over and above for outsiders.
They put on a show of warmth, care, love doing more than needed for others!
They always do favours for others. They manipulate them against you... try and give colour to everything you say, empower them to abuse you and make them feel good doing it...
The fact that you become wrong while being abused hurts the most!
The fact that you are isolated and attacked further and as you try and pull away from abuse and hide, you are labelled as being inconsiderate, not there for “the cause” or “family”
I suffered all this and more... my heart would want that everyone should see this person’s reality! Yet no one did...
I joined iwill therapy and the therapist here helped me first that I needed to save myself, what people said? How the toxic person projected me? How I would be seen was not important right now...
I needed to protect my mental health. I needed to set boundaries. I needed to ensure that my voice has space, that I am able to not be in this environment locked up with fear of insecurity related rage that toxic person would subject me to!
She helped me to stand for self! She made me free of this worry about how others are perceiving me! She helped me free myself from this hurt that the toxic person looks good at the outside!
I slowly started focussing on myself! I am now able to stop the abuse, stop the attacks on me, this need that I should be doing as the toxic person needs due to the kind of dominance they have... I don’t fall to this anymore!
Yes nothing can be worst to know that your abusers are respected... But you cant do much about it, atleast in the short term. What needs to be done is to protecting YOURSELF!