Prioritizing everyone above me and eventually being disrespected and ignored by all was my worst mistake

IWill blogs

I was always told that the best people sacrifice a lot and live for others and their families. I have always been a sensitive person and would see how and what others felt and needed, and would do exactly those things

I was bullied and always used by my siblings when I was not married; they took me for granted

I would be unhappy, but since I always took care, the burden of being good was put on me.

 Then, when I got married, I prioritised my husband and his happiness

 I tried to work and build my own life, but then kids, his parents, his own needs, all were expected from me, and even though I wanted to do so much, I put my needs and desires in the back seat

The more I sacrificed my life for others, the more they took me for granted,  speaking rudely to me, showing no empathy for me.

If I expected something slightly for myself, it would make everyone unhappy. I would be expected to serve 24*7, be available, and yet it would be all considered like something was not important

I wasn't allowed to feel sick or be myself, or not be available

If I took time out for myself, I would be attacked, I would be made to feel like I was selfish and not playing my role

All the appreciation was for my husband and his work. Even at my own home, everyone would still expect me to behave

 I was feeling alone, like my life was wasted, more stuck in my role, more pained than ever

How selfish was everyone around me

How different their rules were for them and for me

 I became depressed and I was feeling lonely

I joined IWill therapy, and it was here that my therapist helped me see that by our behavior, we train others how to see us and treat us.  Being nice is not always being available

It's also give and take. She also helped me see that empathy should be for self and one's own respect. She helped me see that I had in any pressure allow people to hold this misconception that their respect is more sacred, that their goals are more important

 She also understood how tough it was to be around people who didn't respect my sacrifices, and she acknowledged that the hurt was beyond anything one deserves. She helped me see that I needed to heal myself in therapy now, and no matter how people react, I needed to assert my boundaries

She helped me get into a routine, I started taking care of myself

I stopped running after people asked for my time. Instead, I learnt to process my emotions and pain and channel it into doing things that healed me.

She helped me restart my education work and look towards doing some work

She asked me to connect with friends, have a social circle where I feel treated equally

I started putting myself first. Making the breakfast, i liked

 Doing things that I loved, not waiting for their approval or validation.

 I started saying NO

And when they attacked me for not doing enough, I would tell them that they are completely sufficient to do things for themselves

 I started working

I earned my first salary in the longest period, my first solo work, and that made me feel great. 

 I went on my first solo trip and realised how much the world had to offer me

Of course, when I would think of how my family completely never cared about me and my needs, I would feel emotionally vulnerable, but then I would work in therapy sessions on this pain, the counseling and coaching, and focus on healing from my iwill therapist helped me

Today I am my own priority and I don't care if someone feels i am changed

The ones feeling this way were the ones who never respected my selfless duties and continued to walk all over me

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