IWill 2021-09-13 11:45 - 4 minute read

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She is not negative. Her pain is because of the environment she is in.

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Oh she cries all the time. She just doesn’t know how to adjust!
Oh she is always sad... such a bad vibe this is.
She is never happy. Wonder what she wants.
She never mixes with others, she is always away from others. So unsocial

I am sure you have heard a lot like this about Seena. And you felt it too. But therapy is not about blaming people, it’s not about labelling them as problem for their  emotions! It’s about empathising. It’s about understanding what is really going on...

And since we have been in sessions and Seena has expressed her pain; her issues, I would like to give you a different perspective...

If NO ONE admires you for who you are, all that you have been for 25 years of life is suddenly all bad and people want you to change, or else they remark on everything, every habit, every gesture... how happy would you be if this happens to you...
Will it cause disconnect if any?

And if you are unhappy because no one understands you, you are not admired or as liked or people don’t show their interest in talking to you, would you be happy in such a place? Would your sadness that comes and you being labelled as bad vibe for it, would it be fair on you??

And if you are attacked in a group, picked on for your look, for something you missed, for something you forgot, or asked to serve or do things to please others, or said things in “fun” that are actually hurtful, would you like to be around such a company? And if you chose to stay away and you are blamed for it, would it be fair?

What I am talking is life of Seena. See it from her eyes!
She is usually sad because no one accepts her personality. A happy person, her clothes, her smile. Her being with you, her seeing this home exactly as her own, her freedom here have all been a problem... she is not accepted here and how can she be happy then? 

She is always compared to others. She is told how she needs to be without anyone trying to ask her or even show her this empathy that others would try to be there for her too. It’s shown as though it’s a one way relationship. And this is very rough on her. She doesn’t want to be associated because social associations are making her empty, self doubt herself

She is alone. You too don’t get her. From a dream of a happy place, she is now stuck where she feels abandoned, attacked, ignored, sidelined, treated less and that’s what is making her sad... depressed, isolated...

It’s not her.

Yes, she needs to break free of depression. Yes, she needs to assert, to exist despite all of this, to fight this out for herself, to do things for her self esteem, happiness, to break depression. But that’s not going to underscore that her sadness came from an environment that just didn’t want to accept her, that treated her as the problem or threat at the start itself!

Seena is happy around her friends, her family loves her vibe. She is the same person... let’s really see how we can also change the environment if possible somewhat for her..

This was our Iwill therapist, helping me and my husband understand each other better. This session made me cry so much, I felt understood, I felt someone could exactly know how I felt and speak about it... this session really healed a part of me and also gave my husband the view, that it was not ok for me to be labelled, attacked for my pain... that I was being hurt, not the other way around.
Thanks I will !

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