Some inlaws dont let the son get close to his wife. It breaks a woman & bond

Shikha

I had survived a nightmare after marriage. 

My in-laws just wanted their son by all themselves! They were insecure that on the very first day they started separating my husband from me. 

 

Things like 

You should not sit with her so much. You should be a man! 

You have forgotten us. We are all dependent on you. You must understand all the things we did.

She wants to go to her parents. She doesn’t treat this as her family. Girls come to boy’s house. It’s not the other way around. You talk to her or we will!

 

She is just too expressive! This is not how women are supposed to be! Everyone is educated here too. But I was never like this to your father! 

 

Why is she always thinking about her job, her work! She is married now. She needs to see being a wife as her first role! Homes don’t work like this!

Don’t go out with her on birthday. Have you forgotten your family? Will you not be with your family? 

 

Your sister needs you. She has only you. We are old. You must understand your responsibility. You have to take care of this house. 

This and more was constantly fed to my husband. He loved me. I knew that... but I was upset that he was just proving to be so scared and so weak in front of his family!

He was constantly manipulated, openly asked to ignore me! I was openly told how I had only duties and so fewer rights! If I argued, they would give their own examples as daughter in-laws and just shut the discussion showcasing that I was the odd one! 

 

They were leaving no stone unturned to take their son away from me! I was lonely. I was deprived. I was being judged! I was being made to look bad for just having basic rights and needs as them! My mother in law wanted my husband too to take care of his sister!

But in my case, my affection towards my parents too was a sin!

I was just turned into being a caged and unhappy person who was drowning under the weight of these hypocrisies and prejudices! 

 

I was just made to suffer and my husband being taken away from me was breaking me! He was the reason I was there!

Did they have no empathy for me?

No respect for my love and feelings?

No understanding of how much I needed my partner to adjust to my new life and world!

 

I was made to feel everyday like I don’t matter! 

Like they don’t care for my tears and their egos as bigger than my happiness!

 

I was broken when I joined iwill therapy! 

I was alone! And was just shattered and heartbroken! I didn’t know who and what to look forward to in life anymore!

 

The therapist first had sessions with me and then my spouse! Fortunately for me, I got IWill’s help within 6 months of this abuse and pain! And my husband understood in therapy that he wasn’t just a son! He was a husband now! He had duties for me! And these duties were not against in any way of his life as a son! The comparison was senseless! The isolation and ignorance were hurtful and wrong and abusive and that he was letting go of a happy life with me!

 

She helped our bond get stronger! She helped me overcome the hurt! Helped me look beyond the bad behavior and how in life I would meet many people who harm me out of self-interest! I couldn’t give up so easily or lose the Will to live! 

I stood back! My husband gives me time, I go to my parents! I focus on my job! I am no longer there to listen to excuses for my abuse, I stand up to them!

I am glad I had therapy help! But still how some families do this unfairness against their own son and daughter-in-law is beyond me! It breaks people who are their sons!

They don’t realize in doing so, they are isolating and making their son alone, without a deep companionship he deserves too!