Some people around can be so toxic in their remarks that it deeply impacts a person. And worst pain, no one around sees the damage

IWill blogs

Some people around are so toxic that their words constantly make you feel down and bad about self, they instil self doubt and unhappiness in you. 

And yet people around would think its normal behavior and toxic people also do this so smartly that you cannot stop them as they are so sweet while being toxic, so sugar coated when attacking that even you don't know what to do, they puzzle your mind and yet the hurt, the damage by them remains and increases.

 

Here are some examples of toxic remarks and behaviors that would be usually used to damage a person's mental health 

 

1. Always reminding of failures 

A toxic person always wants to remind their victim of everything they lack. No matter how much the person is doing well, their focus remains on negative.

As an example they would remind you of all that is lacking within you. 

Things like

Oh i hope they like you now. Last time they were so upset with you. This time try and impress them.

Oh I am so concerned for you, you still don't have a promotion. I feel for you. 

These words and similar words remind a person of what they are lacking, what is not achieved by them and these reminders break a person's trust on self, breaks motivation to be socially engaging because they feel less than others and is deeply unsettling.

 

2. Comparison with others 

Things like,

You know she got that job and is making so much money. She started around you only. 

She always stays back for family. She is never thinking about herself. She is so good. She is one of the best daughter in laws Anyone can have.

Just like he has his own home now even though he started working only 2 years ago, may you also be able to have it. So many difficulties you have. 

He has so much time for his family. He got married but he never changed. He doesn't run behind his wife.

These remarks here are usually said to instil a feeling of being less desirable or having achieved less. And they are highly toxic. Usually these are the only conversations, a toxic person would be having with you. This is because they have an impulse to hurt you and everytime they meet, they will display this behavior.

 

3. Feeling sad or bad for you even when there is no reason

Toxic people usually show that they are feeling bad or sad for you, for slightest of reasons. This leads into a person thinking that there is something really terribly wrong in their life. 

 

They would say things like 

Oh he really loves his family more. That's how he is. I know its tough for you. But he really respects his family.

Oh I feel bad you still don't have a home, you still don't have a promotion.

Oh I feel sad you are always in trouble. 

Things like these are not empathy statements. Empathy is the opposite of behavior displayed here. A lot of the times these statements make people wonder if they are hurting them because they are sensitive but in reality, it's true hurt happening, no one who is genuinely concerned about you, will remind you of things you lack.

 

4. Never appreciating, quick to point a problem

No matter what you do for the toxic person, they never give you enough praises or publicly appreciate you. They may in private acknowledge somethings about you but this is also few and far in between.

But the same person will jump on you when there is slightest of problem or slightest of slip up.

You always feel on the edge around this person and feel emptied by their lack of ungratefulness and inability to see good things that you do.

They will forget in mili seconds any good that you did. As they always want to retain a very negative picture of you in their heart..

But trust, it's them, not you!

5. Always speaking in a peculiar and complaining tone 

Oh you didn't do this.

Oh you are coming now....

Oh you are again going...

You must be too tired to work right.

You got hungry so quickly. I understand 

If you can almost read it in their tone and you know how hurtful even their tone is while greeting you, big sign you already know what toxicity is.

 

Toxic people always find a way to hurt, isolate and make a person feel less from within. They can empty the person from within. They can make them feel completely broken.

People around also never trust the person dealing with toxicity because these remarks are never direct, are usually sugar coated, are wrapped in words of "concern" and genuine "worry", even where there is no need for it.

Therapy at IWill has helped many people dealing with depression, hopelessness that is accompanied by such toxic abuse that is continous.

Therapy helps a person assert for themselves, never let a toxic person's view of them, becoming a standard by which they judge themselves and also find a way to help other people also see the reality and find ways to end toxicity and maintain healthy boundaries.

Pleasing someone with toxicity is almost impossible. And it may only deplete, break and hurt you further. 

If you are going through toxic abuse, seek help today. 

IWill App link is below, please download and start sessions

If you know a loved one who is tired of such toxic remarks by someone, don't brush their pain aside.

Toxic patterns can be highly damaging for long standing emotional health.