Some people think they own you! Worst for your mental health!
It’s true that people around you play a big role in your mental health.
If you get a supportive family or people, your mental health remains good.
But then there are people who think they own you!!
These people are so selfish that they think of you as just a thing that is there to please them, their needs; their expectations, their comfort, and their moods are important.
*They almost act as if they own you! *
I, unfortunately, got such people around me...
I was told what I should do and not do.
I was constantly remarked on, throughout the day. They acted like I knew nothing and they had to correct me on everything.
If I would spend time in a way that I liked or enjoyed, they would give me lectures on morality and “being good” and how I wasn’t supposed to even think about my needs. How I had the responsibility of everyone’s happiness around...
Giving me examples, “Sunita never thinks about anyone but the family. That’s how everyone loves her so much. One has to think and do and act as the family wants. That’s what makes a good daughter in law”
Hypocritically all these people did things they liked, pleased themselves, and only thought about themselves selfishly. But I wasn’t allowed!
They would always get comparative. If I would get something good or do something good, rather than praising or being happy, they would immediately compare me directly or indirectly with someone and make me feel completely small.
“Yes, this is good. Arun’s wife makes such good food. Also, the kind of variety and she is always there whenever you need her”
“She comes and stays with us without her husband.
She is a very good wife. She lets her husband have the social circle, be with his friends, she knows he has to make his career, and she spends time with her husband’s family taking care of them. This is how women should be”!
They would always show off, their wealth, their sanskaras, and their value system, and belittle me.
“Being the most hypocritical people, always talking bad about others, always hurting others but just to show off, on face acting good and
They would indirectly attack me on gifts my family sent, things I do or I got... always try to show my parents as less; ignore them.
And I had enough.. I wasn’t owned by them. Their attitude of being so full of themselves was breaking me completely and being In an environment where people try to treat you like you are much less than them, and they are almost your gods, even when you know how bitter and heartless people they are, it breaks your mental health.
I had pent-up anger!
I had only hurt! I missed my carefreeness, my ability to be myself.
I missed the love and care that existed for me too. I missed the affection that people had for me in my home. I was special too. To a lot of people but here I was, treated like there should be no empathy for me... I was broken. It was almost like I was in hell.
I wanted to break this cycle... I wanted to stand up... but I had lost myself... I was scared, broken, and clueless.
My confidence in myself was completely broken. I was bullied and I didn’t know what to do, I only felt bad for myself...
I started IWill therapy sessions. I felt so alone that I needed support.
Therapist helped me feel how things could change for me.
I needed to focus on myself and my therapist helped me with that.
She helped me assert, understand their behaviors, and truly shift the blame to people who behaved like this and not me!
The therapist helped me in standing up for myself, to not take disrespect.
In IWill therapy, the best thing that happened was, that I could come out of the trauma these people had given me. I could heal myself...
Now they meet a different Vaani. I don’t let them own me. They can no longer attack me or make fun of me. I don’t need their approval or their grades on my performance. What they say, they think, or they backbite about me, I give a damn. And the less I am concerned, the more they get irritated!
People who have no respect for others don’t deserve your mind space either... you are most important person in your life and more than any relationship, your good mental health is key!