Some say Daughter in law is respect of house yet hypocrisy is they don’t respect her

IWill user

The worst pain is when there are people around you who want to put the burden of their happiness, ego on you! And yet they don’t want to do anything to make you feel happy, or respected... they want you to neglect the world and yet they leave no stone unturned to neglect you.! It’s a one-way street. It’s a one-way relationship and that is most hurtful!

I faced this every day...

I was told I was now the “respect” of the house. Somehow all my happiness and actions according to them could tarnish the respect of the family.

If I wore jeans or a t-shirt, that was breaking the respect of the home!!
If I would want to have an opinion, share my way of doing things as I learned in my family, I was breaking respect of the home!!
If I would want to be with my partner and husband, that wasn’t a respectful thing to do!
If I would talk to my husband with love, that wasn’t respectful!
Laughing a certain way, expressing self in a certain way... that wasn’t respectful!

Everything that I did was hampering the respect of the family somehow... it was almost that my existence any more than what they wanted me to be, would bring disrespect!

And yet at the same time... for a woman who was supposedly so important, her respect didn’t matter in the home...

Whether she was happy or not didn’t matter!
Anybody could come and disrespect me.. say things about my family, about my style, about who I was, even laugh or joke at my expense, disrespect me and that was all supposed to be on a “lighter note”!

My husband could call me nagging, my husband’s family could call me immature, childish and it was all ok...

I could be crying all day, or I could be hungry because of the isolation that I was feeling and yet no one would bother to have this much respect to take notice that I had gone hungry!

The maids of the home could give me “gyaan” on when to wake up as a mother in law is working alone, or for that matter comment on my dressing, on my frequency to visit my parents, and no, this wasn’t hampering anyone’s respect!

This hypocrisy that I lived with, many women live with it too. They ignore it because they don’t want drama. They ignore it because sometimes they feel powerless. After all they have grown in the same culture too that respects a husband, but disrespects his wife and makes her secondary... but the abuse is real. The pain is real when a woman crosses it and feels it..:

And no one stops this hypocrisy on their own.. it continues... with more expected out of a daughter-in-law, the more she is expected to bend and be ok if she has no respect...

I suffered a lot because of this... I was in depression, I was suffering from anxiety disorder... probably one of the happiest people around, I had turned into a person who was just hopeless, aimless, sad, and unhappy...

I took therapeutic treatment at iwill. It helped me speak all the hurt out, find ways to make myself happy with the tough changes that had happened in my life... it helped me assert for myself. Be ok in leading my life and asking for the respect that I deserved!

It’s not ok to claim women are the respect of the house when she is one most disrespected! It’s not ok to take her happiness away in order to satisfy egos..: it’s not ok to take someone's daughter and not embrace her as your own! It’s not ok to force a happy person into depression!
 

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