IWill 2021-09-16 11:28 - 8 minute read

Book & Start IWill Therapy Now Online On Play Store App Store

Somebody who can create Drama always dominates. Not anymore

IWill blogs

A lot of people suffer because of a person at their homes who can create Drama. This suffering comes because the one who is able to pull off a drama has a lot of emotional power, emotional bullying that scares people, that stuns people and makes them follow what the person wants them to do. The pattern of getting things done for them however is exhausting, unhealthy, breaks other good bonds within homes, chokes the people day in and day out because they are almost always doing things that they don't wish to or otherwise wouldn't have done, bringing in a lot of resentment. 


Such homes develop a toxic environment where a lot of other members' dreams are broken, their relationships with each other tensed and scarred, and only develop 

Why does a person create Drama?

Dramatic or toxic people have a deep desire for the world of their home to revolving around them. They like everyone's attention on them and their mood. Also, they want everyone to have the closest relationship with them, they want everyone to have conversations regarding them and any deviation from feeling the most important person, being the most important person, makes them angry, upset, scared and they start reacting either by saying things which hurt, doing things which show how much in pain they are or even going to the extent of harming themselves by not eating, crying a lot, locking themselves up, stopping communication, all in the PURSUIT of having their way around and making people come back to them, making their loved ones follow them.



Why does Drama work?

Of course the next question will be, its one thing for a dramatic person to do things over the top, to get attention back on them, but why do people of the family not stop it, worse why do they fall in line or do things as the dramatic person wants them to do.

There are reasons for it.

The first is a deep emotional connection with the person. The drama, the emotional acts are coming from someone the family loves deeply so to avoid that or brush it aside isn't possible. 

Second, the person who creates drama also positions themselves as vulnerable, dependent, emotionally weak. The act of drama more often than not also involves things like hurting themselves up, crying, giving themselves the pain, which gets very difficult for a loved one to bear. 

The third is the so-called power of saving, which the person with drama tendencies gives to their loved ones. "It's only you who care for me or can care for me". "I have done so much for you". "I am so looking up to you in my life". Things and themes like these that the person with a toxic personality keeps creating, make the loved one/s feel like they are responsible for the person creating drama, and it's almost like their job to protect their interest, to be with them, EVEN when this comes at their own expense. 

Fourth is fear. The person who is toxic may say things like I would leave you or may do things like throwing things, doing over the top drama, yelling, fighting, since they have all the energy in the world to do this, others in the home don't necessarily have that energy and so just give in and keep giving in as a LEARNT habit out of fear! 


How does it impact the home negatively'?

Well if the home is so lopsided if the center of attraction is just someone who is creating drama, wouldn't the need for others to be neglected?

If the home works on just one thought, wouldn't the joint decision making, the rational decision making get affected?

Will not the home environment be on the edge, tensed, very negative?

One person leading with all the drama and dragging everyone with them, hampering their relationships within the home with others and with outsiders, all of this has a very negative impact on the home environment!


How does it impact individuals and relationships in the home negatively?

Individuals living with such a dramatic personality are usually very unhappy inside. They don't get to many times experience or live what they truly deserve. Say for instance if a person wants to do an engineering outstation but say if a dramatic parent at home wants kids to live with them and creates a scene, the child may stay back and will stay back most likely but will lose out on this lifetime of an opportunity. Similarly, individuals living with dramatic people have a lot of missed goals, missed opportunities, missed emotions and many times they don't even realize what's going wrong, not until someone else points it out and for that too it may take very long. 

Relationships have to go through the dramatic person. A dramatic person wants everyone to be closest to them and does not like strong bonds between individuals that are independent. This is because this will threaten their dominance. That is why with a dramatic person in the home, you would see groups forming,  one person fighting with the other.

Also, the drama person wants everyone to give them the maximum time thereby reducing bonds between others. They may selectively let a few people bond with each other but the idea is the shared love or shared allegiance to the dramatic person.

New relationships do not flourish well in such an environment. Because any relationship that is not directly related to the person who is dramatic is a very threatening relationship, of complete lack of control for them and hence they go on their lengths to destabilise it or make their loved one be scared of going deeper or closer in that relationship. 



What is the solution?

The person who creates drama forces a lot of people including themselves to live unhappily, they force relationships to be weak or never form, they force people into depression, chronic unhappiness, and anxiety disorders hence its important that this behavior is checked. 

Its not an easy thing at all but this can be done. 

The first step is to recognize the abusive pattern. Either the loved one themselves or people close to the loved one but not directly in a relationship with the dramatic person are first to see this and experience the pain because of it. They need to be aware that this is toxic positioning and that will impact them too. Awareness is the first key step,

The second is to start therapy at IWill or take some help in finding a way to break this toxic loop if that person facing it is you and if you are aware or if it's your loved one then therapy will be needed for first making them understand this. 

In IWill therapy, step by step a person can see what all they have lost will continue to lose, how much the family has suffered  because of this dramatic behavior

But most importantly, the therapist will help you step by step break this drama-driven bond that you or your loved one and you are a part of. The idea is to start saying No, cutting time to drama, taking some heat and some pressure, and not being GUILT trapped and slowly come out of it. The therapist will help you first strengthen your bonds with others, assert in a way that is nonthreatening initially for your family member prone to manipulation, and slowly taking your space up.

Your first fears of the dramatic family member collapsing or doing something bizarre are mostly never going to come true so it's important to work today to break this spell. 

Book & Start IWill Therapy Now Online On Play Store App Store

The best online therapy experience
Play Store App Store