IWill

IWill 2022-01-08 02:17 - 2 minute read

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Sometimes you keep getting pain despite trying. And this is most heartbreaking 

Rohini Agarwal

I have tried a lot to win and yet always things didn't happen for me. 

I kept my hope. 

I tried a lot that the family I was a part of will understand me and change... But nothing happened...

At work, I was trying to excel. but sometimes due to lack of faith of people who worked for me, sometimes random health events of me or my family, sometimes other concerns at home, 

I was not able to achieve the kind of success or even basic of what I wanted...

I kept trying and kept failing until I reached a time, I couldn't try as well anymore... I still did, still wanted to be happy, still was longing for good things but somehow they didn't happen

My unhappiness came from a space of really being disappointed in getting what I deserved, what I wanted despite trying... 

It's really the worst feeling when you try so much and yet BAD karma keeps hitting you... This is exactly what I thought...

 

I joined IWill therapy really to vent out... In therapy, I asked, why is it so bad with me?

What can I do more? How can I BE HAPPY WHEN I KEEP FACING.

 

In therapy, she first helped me VALIDATE MY FEELINGS... It was true that what I was going through was very painful and I needed to empathy with myself... 

The next therapist helped me see how things could change, could I try harder in different directions, could I try asserting at home, could I make more reasonable expectations. 

 

She became my motivational voice, no matter how many setbacks I faced. I kept trying... and she kept supporting... In 6 months, at least some progress started in my life, I started asserting and prioritizing and stopped blaming myself. GRIEF OR PAIN DIDN'T STOP ME FROM WORKING AS WOULD HAPPEN EARLIER...

Things started changing for me and I started really trying, feeling good about myself. 

THERAPY HELPED ME TO LEARN TO TRUST SELF, LIFE, TO KEEP GOING DESPITE ODDS, TO ASSERT, TO STAY MOTIVATED, AND TO NOT LEAVE THAT WHAT NEEDS TO BE DONE WHETHER OR NOT RESULTS ARE FAVORABLE, NO MATTER HOW LONG THAT TAKES... BUT TO PERSEVERE. CONTINUE, BELIEVE, MOTIVATE AND TAKE CARE OF SELF.

 

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